It’s hard to standing up to a healthy parent let alone a narcissist parent. I know I have one. It sounds like your wife's, mum enables her husbands behaviour with her outburst too. Doesn’t help either because that makes her just as bad as her husband.
I agree your wife parents can’t tell you where your going to live. In their eyes you’re taking her further away so they are unable to control her.
Your wife has probably my had situation like this happen all her life, where she’s been controlled and they’ve demanded things of her. And she does it because it’s what she’s always done.
When you discover you have a narcissistic parent it’s going to take a long time for it to sink in.To get used to the fact they are never going to change or going to stop wanting to take control. There is always going to be manipulation and mind games.
When she goes to visit them I doubt she’ll be having a nice time or feeling comfortable around them.
It is up to her if she wants to see them or not. Ideally keeping it at very low contact. When she wakes up more maybe she’ll cut contact but it needs to be done in her own time without guilt or pressure.
Maybe she could start by cutting back the calls and not answering every time? Have a goal of getting to once a week. Get her to read up on narc parents again because that will remind her and it will give her confirmation it’s not her, it’s them. And go back to counselling. She’s still healing
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