Ive been with my husband 27 years and we have sex about 3 times a week. I give a lot of affection to him in and out of bed, more then he does with me. we hadn't had sex for a week because of my period and I said to him, all good things are worth waiting for. he turned around and said, let him know when its worth waiting for. I felt hurt by this comment and he said he did not mean it at me he meant it at himself because he had his prostrate removed and he is not the same anymore and how do I get any pleasure out of it now. he then started going on about it but I think it was to feel sorry for him so it did not look like he set out to hurt me but I think he did. he also once said, if he had to much to drink he would be anybodies even thou he as told me he only wants me and no one else. I felt hurt by this and told him and he said, have I not heard of people saying that. told him I had but I bet they don't say it to there wives. I don't know if he does it to make me feel insecure because he knows I have little confidence in myself. he as stared at women when we have been out together and I just feel he as no respect for me at all and Im sick of his comments. I never say stuff to hurt him. he reminds me of my father who used to pull me down as well. Im wondering why I stay with him when he says things to me and why Im such a fool for taking it all the time.
You have posted before about this relationship. After 27 years, do you think he’s going to change?
Perhaps its a matter of1.
1. Be aware that you don’t bait him with opportunities to pout. He really needs counseling about his new sex life and coping with his different body. He tries to dump his insecurities on you and that hurts.
2. After 27 years, perhaps you both need a “tuneup” on your marriage. Consider marriage counseling. You both could use some new tactics as you enter a new phase of your togetherness.
No I suppose he never will change after all this time. Do you think he meant me when he said to tell him when sex is worth waiting for or himself. We have been to counselling over the years and the one we have been seeing always seems to take his side. He never does no wrong it's all me and my anxiety according to her. Like him staring at other women or looking at porn she never asks why he does it. He says the doctors don't care about him now and he is just another number on there books and they don't care how he as to live now with his prostrate removed and what he as to go through to have sex by using a pump.