I have odd feelings towards my ex
Hi, I'm writing this as I recently got in touch with an ex of many years,to whom I hadn't been speaking for five years. I was scrolling through old pictures on Facebook a few months ago when I noticed an old picture of us and felt a pang of nostalgia. We were 16 on the year we were together, and due to us being immature and stupid kids at the time, we broke up after a few months of relationship, over the fact that we sometimes argued and lacked the maturity to stop being childish over stupid stuff and communicate with each other.
After that, I cut contact short with him and never seeked to hear from him again. We had a pleasant conversation when I decided to write back to him a short time ago, as he told me he remembered me well and had nice memories of our time together. However, I caught myself having odd feelings towards him ever since that conversation, as many memories started to flood back into my head, and I've been closely following him on social media for quite a long time now. I don't exactly know why I'm doing this, but I feel the need to know what's going on in his life,to know whether he's still single, and to look for hints he may have found someone new in his posts.It's been such a long time that I don't dare talk to him again for fear he might wonder why I'm trying to rekindle contact after all this time. I should also add that I have never been in any other relationship than this one.
One of the reasons I'm "going back to my past" are that, now that I'm 22, I horribly miss my teenage years and frequently feel depressed, due to college being difficult and my almost constant loneliness, as all of my friends are either working or living far away from me. This relationship was part of it, and I feel that remembering my younger years brings me a bit of confort from a happier time.
Does anyone ever had a similar experience, and do you think I should try to re-establish contact with my ex, or just try to move on?
Thank you for your help !
Maybe at 16 it wasn’t the right time for you both to be together.
you could be thinking like this because there was an interest, you had a nice times together, maybe cutting contact completely with each other was too quick. Now your in you’re early 20s, you're more mature (hopefully he is too, you’ll find out see if you start talking to him) so a friendship/relationship will hopefully go differently. But take it slow getting to know him don’t rush into anything.
What is stopping you from contacting him and seeing if a friendship starts and getting know him again? Even if it stays as a friendship.
I think you really should take your time and get to know him again.
Oh - the past is so seductive!
And you say you are unhappy being 22.
I suggest counseling. With an older woman who can mentor you and help you discover that happiness is not found in resurrecting the past.