This is going to be a heavy read, and should probably have some warnings posted. Not sure how to do that, so just giving fair warning that this will cover several triggering topics. So to anyone that decides to wade in anyway, thank you.
We were notified last week that our friend and coworker, Daniel Salcido, had been involved in a murder-suicide, and their 2yo son was missing. They have since found Aiden. He was deceased. We're waiting for autopsy results. It's every kind of messed up, but we're clinging to the slim chance that Aiden's death was accidental, and that prompted the murder-suicide. They were already on the run. They had committed a serious burglary in 2018 and were due to start their jail time. Daniel worked right up til they disappeared. Our boss bailed them out when they got arrested. Daniel worked just long enough to pay him back, then disappeared. We looked for him til we ran out of leads. We assumed he'd gone to Alaska, alone, as that was his contingency plan as far as we knew. We were in no way prepared for what actually happened. We've spent a lot of time together just trying to get our feet under us. But we're all mostly still in shock. Walking around like zombies, that have occasional mini meltdowns. It's unfathomable. It's not completely real yet. Not til we get an answer about Aiden. I realize that's a coping mechanism. I'm choosing it anyway. I'm not ready to face it all head on yet. Neither is anyone else. I'm aware. Just not ready. I'm okay with that, for now.
We don't feel like we can grieve for Daniel openly, as he's being branded a monster. We're not blind. Or stupid. We knew he had issues. Alcohol and anger issues ran rampant in his family, as well as Hannah's. They both lived with crippling mental health issues. But at work, he was solid. We could count on him, and he always did more than was asked of him. He was very well respected, appreciated, and liked. We helped him as much as he would let us. He was our friend. He was a fascinating guy to talk to day after very long day. We miss him. We're coming to terms with what's happened, as much as that's possible. But dammit....
I cannot stop thinking about his mother. And Hannah's mother. I'm about to be a grandmother for the first time myself. I'm obviously a mother, as well. My heart is breaking for these women. Our boss has been talking to Daniel's mom, and the FBI. He's working on getting their remains home. I just.....
There is no handbook for something like this.
I'm asking for anything helpful. From whoever wishes to offer it.
Hug your loved ones tight. Every chance you get.
Sorry that you and your co- workers are going thru this surreal experience. Shows that we never really know anyone in the workplace, do we?
My friend lost a co- worker a few years back. They had socialized outside of work. She was an artist and traveller. When she died and relatives went into the house, they found such filth and evidence of hoarding that the house had to be demolished. No one knew she lived like that.
The point is that people have different faces they show at different places.
I hope your business will bring in grief counselors for all staff. There’s lots of things to talk about here.