I apologise in advance for this long post!
So me and my partner have been together 7 months now.
It did start long before then, the chemistry was so intense, but he actually worked for me, so we had to make some changes before we could be together properly.
When we were just in the friends/employer capacity, he disclosed a lot of his personal issues/relationship problems to me. Including he finds it difficult to trust after many hurtful situations etc. And I told him that I’m a little paranoid after my past too... We decided that the bond was undeniable and we would work together to overcome our past issues together...
We did move fast, and we do spend almost every day together and when we aren’t together we are on the phone.
I started to notice that he was always asking who’s text me or phoning me, screen shoting me when I’m online and not speaking to him... But I have absolutely no problems in telling him/showing him as I have absolutely nothing to hide and we had also agreed to that complete open honesty.
So the other week he gets a message from this random woman, but he was very fast to swipe the notification away, which didn’t sit right.
Later that day I asked who it was and he shown me a message that was from someone with a completely different name...
I said that’s not the one, you must have deleted it.
He got very angry, saying that I am paranoid!!
So, I asked a simple question and he jumps, and it did make me paranoid!
So I thought I would search out this woman’s profile and have a look and found that recently every profile picture of her, he had liked!
But after the reaction I got last time, I just left it...
We spent the weekend together and he never went on his phone, but I noticed that this woman had added another profile picture of herself and I thought I wonder how long it takes for him to like that one.
As soon as he took me home, he got a message... I asked who it was and he said that woman’s name!! I went on to her profile and found that he had liked the new picture!! I was absolutely fuming!
I asked him if we could have a chat and tried to turn it to “how would you feel if I like a random mans pictures consecutively and was also messaging him, then deleting the messages” He absolutely hit the roof! I’m paranoid, I’m a psycho etc... I said that we said we wanted to be honest if something was bothering us we would speak out and I get a reaction like that? He said that I was confrontational and aggressive and that’s what caused his reaction to it!
He said that she had messaged him to tell him about her son who he used to work for and that he’s liked her pictures because she’s overcome so much in her life... Then said that he can’t be bothered with our relationship anymore as he doesn’t want accusations like that!
There wasn’t any accusations, just questions and him hitting the roof?
He then said “oh ok, you’ve caught me, I’m cheating, I’m chatting her up”
I was absolutely gob smacked! I asked if he really meant that?
He said “yes really! That’s what you think I’m doing, so yeah your right! That’s what you want to hear right?”
We didn’t speak for a while after that, but we took the kids for a walk and he held my hand and kissed me (I’m not one to hold a grudge)
And then as he was leaving to go home, he turned on me and said we are done then yeah? Again, I was so shocked...
he asked me what I want and I said him, and he said right ok then but you need to stop with these accusations!
For the past year we have never not spoken to each other before bed.
Tonight nothing! I felt that he should have spoken first as it was him that had blown me asking a question right out of the water! But nope! He was online all night (my paranoid mind thinks to that woman) but not one message!
I really don’t know what to think! We have both risked so much to be together and when we are together it is really good!
Is it my paranoia or an i right to think how I have?
Are you living together?
You mention “kids” - whose children ?
May I ask your ages?
Seven months is not a long time. But it is enough time to test the relationship in the sense that the intensity has worn down now, and both of you are now dealing with each others’ compatibility.