Am I using money as an excuse not to live with my boyfriend?
My boyfriend wants to move in. We’ve been together for many years and love each other. But I’m very settled financially have a good retirement and ear a good living. I told him he can’t live with me until I see he can support himself so when he moves in he can pay something towards the household expenses.
He has improved somewhat but breaks even with almost nothing left in his checking account at months end after he pays his bills. He brings in over $4000 a month from working and social security and I know he doesn’t gamble or anything and his rent is $1400/month so I’m confused why he only breaks even. He does put away $200/month. I don’t know if I can trust him to share expenses. At first he said he’d pay $1000/month and put the other $400 into an account for both of us to use for vacations etc. but I told him he’d have to give me $1400 and I’d take care of putting the money aside since I’m very good with saving and he is not. Finally he has only $20,000 in assets this needs to cover retirement and his extra expenses. Sometimes I believe I’m justified in feeling uneasy living with him and other times maybe an excuse.
We are both almost at retirement age.
Can anyone lend some advice?
Does he have expensive taste? Maybe he's got a double life (i.e other kids he's paying maintenance for) hence less of the earnings. Either way, if you don't trust him to pay his way and contribute to the household expenses then you should not be moving in together. I hope you get a chance to evaluate your relationship before making the next step commitment