Facebook Banner 001

Break up devastation

Posted by
SANDEL8
on Aug 6 2019 at 21:07
Member since: 06 August 2019
Relationship advice Today I broke up with my partner of 14 years and the father of my child. He is a good man and a good father and I love him but I'm not in love with him nor have been for about a year.

Over the past few months relationship doubts have plagued me and today I finally told him the truth about my feelings. We agreed I would spend the night away to give us space but I have been crying uncontrollably for the past 6 hours and feel part of me has died. Looking advice on what to do?

Thanks

Break up devastation
Reply from
SUSIEDQQ
on Aug 6 2019 at 23:43
Member since: 27 December 2013
How did your feelings come to be?

Have you always felt like this, ( that he was a friend) or did you fall out of love with him?

Is someone else turning your eye?

Break up devastation
Reply from
SANDEL8
on Aug 6 2019 at 23:55
Member since: 06 August 2019
I think the feelings have been there for quite a while but managed to avoid acting on them, think I fell out of love with a few years ago but stayed because it was the easy option. If he had done something or been a terrible partner it would be easier to understand.

No one else involved. I just feel if I left it and did nothing in a few years I'd end up resenting him and know that's not fair. I didn't expect to tell him so suddenly but it happened and although I knew I'd feel guilty; I'm heartbroken at what I've done because I've broken up our family unit and know he has little support outside of me.

Break up devastation
Reply from
SUSIEDQQ
on Aug 7 2019 at 09:29
Member since: 27 December 2013
You don’t want to regret this in 5 years (that you let a good man go) but you don’t need to be burdened with guilt if this is the best thing for you to do.

Can you find a counselor to talk to about all this? There’s the Seven Year Itch that couples experience, or you may be personally restless and thinking it’s about him instead of your own self esteem.

Take time to evaluate all this, including getting a complete physical and talking to a professional counselor about how you feel.

Break up devastation
Reply from
SANDEL8
on Aug 7 2019 at 10:11
Member since: 06 August 2019
Thanks for your advice. I'm plagued with doubts either way but think I will contact a counsellor for some support. It may be we'll take some time apart before making any decisions.

This thread is currently due to expire in 20 days