Break up devastation
Today I broke up with my partner of 14 years and the father of my child. He is a good man and a good father and I love him but I'm not in love with him nor have been for about a year.
Over the past few months relationship doubts have plagued me and today I finally told him the truth about my feelings. We agreed I would spend the night away to give us space but I have been crying uncontrollably for the past 6 hours and feel part of me has died. Looking advice on what to do?
How did your feelings come to be?
Have you always felt like this, ( that he was a friend) or did you fall out of love with him?
Is someone else turning your eye?
I think the feelings have been there for quite a while but managed to avoid acting on them, think I fell out of love with a few years ago but stayed because it was the easy option. If he had done something or been a terrible partner it would be easier to understand.
No one else involved. I just feel if I left it and did nothing in a few years I'd end up resenting him and know that's not fair. I didn't expect to tell him so suddenly but it happened and although I knew I'd feel guilty; I'm heartbroken at what I've done because I've broken up our family unit and know he has little support outside of me.
You don’t want to regret this in 5 years (that you let a good man go) but you don’t need to be burdened with guilt if this is the best thing for you to do.
Can you find a counselor to talk to about all this? There’s the Seven Year Itch that couples experience, or you may be personally restless and thinking it’s about him instead of your own self esteem.
Take time to evaluate all this, including getting a complete physical and talking to a professional counselor about how you feel.
Thanks for your advice. I'm plagued with doubts either way but think I will contact a counsellor for some support. It may be we'll take some time apart before making any decisions.