Am I wasting my time with boyfriend who makes less effort than me??
I have been with my boyfriend a year tomorrow. I am not sure if I am expecting too much from him or if I am well within my rights to think he is not putting in enough effort?
he makes me laugh a lot, he tells me he loves me and texts me every morning when he gets up. We chat on the phone too. I am relaxed around him and feel very comfortable to talk openly with him.
Negatives: He doesn’t have transport so I find myself always driving to his house and when he does get transport (borrows a van from work) he won’t always come over or he will make excuse after excuse because he is so stuck in his ways and more “comfortable” at his house.
This weekend I have my children and he was meant to have one of his daughters (the other two are grown up). We had planned to spend Sunday together since it’s a year since we first met. However his daughter is poorly so she’s staying at home with her mum. He has the van this weekend but instead of offering to come over has told me he’s watching a box set and helping his friend sort his car out.
Tomorrow he is now having his son for a few hours whom I’ll add I have not yet met because the mum of his son will not allow it & he will not discuss it with her as she uses her son as a weapon like stops him seeing him when she feels like it.
He has then agreed to help my eldest daughter pick up a bed with his van (this day/time has been changed by him 3 times now) so of course I am grateful for that. At no point has he suggested we go out or try celebrating our 1 year anniversary though.
We never go on dates we just sit at his house, he never suggests doing anything and on several occasions now I have been let down by him.
I was in a 15 year relationship (13 of which we were married) prior to meeting him a year later so I am not really up to speed with current day relationships and don’t know if I am wasting my time or not.....
I suspect deep down you know this man does not have the capability fior having a quality relationship.
Imagine what you want now: perhaps going out to dinner, to the theater or dancing, art or music events, fun things with family.
Find a man who can give you all this , plus affection, companionship and fun.