Nothing in common
We have been married 25 years. Over past few years as our children have got more independent we spent very little time doing anything together. He likes sitting reading paper & watching tv, I am more social & like being active.
He is retired & I still work. On my days off I suggest a walk or go something together, which is always refused. We both have elderly parents who would like to see more of their grandchildren but he refuses to visit them, maybe a few times a year and it’s done under duress.
His inactivity I can cope with but not doing things together means I miss that sense of closeness & get our sex life is poor. I also have growing resentment that he won’t visit parents with me. He doesn’t stop me from going on my own but I find I have to make excuses as to why he is not able to come.
I’d appreciate some advise
I am in the opposite end of this. I work full time outside. I only get a few days off and like to rest however I like to go out though. My wife likes to go out on my days off.
I find it can be a drain as we all need some alone time or off time. Maybe both of you need a change. Get away for a romantic weekend.
When is the last time he had a physical? Perhaps since he has retired, he is depressed.
Does he have any hobbies ( golf, gardening, cooking)?
The only thing I can suggest is to make the plans and then let him know that you both will attend. He may grudgingly go along.
I know several retirement aged couples with this same issue.