My boyfriend has a history of sometimes telling me white lies or just outright lies about his finances. The reason why the truth is so relevant is because he wants to live in my home and pay me rent. I know he lives paycheck to paycheck with little left over but here's what he told me yesterday:
I specifically asked him how much money he has left in his account each month after paying bills and he said about $1,000 but last month he had only a few hundred (which he later said was closer to $150; in reality I know its $130). I asked him to repeat the answer which he did. For example, I know the prior month he had $300 and the other months about $400. when I asked again today b/c I said it didn't sound right, he said maybe it was closer to $400.00.
I also asked why is he is using 3 credit cards when he used only use 2 and he had no real answer. I asked him twice how much he owes on the cards which needs to be paid in 2 weeks and he said $1,000.00 - he repeated the same answer when I asked him about it today. But I know it's $1,500.00.
Do you consider either or both lies? I asked him to show me his bank statements to show me how he thinks he has $1,000/month extra and he didn't but said moving forward, he would. Really, I've heard that before.
What's so ironic is that I've broken up with him for brief periods when I knew he was lying and he promised me he changed. He did get better in certain regards but not 100% obviously.
He tells me I'm a fool for not allowing him to move in and pay me rent instead of him paying his landlord and he will never hurt me financially and it's foolproof for me b/c if it doesn't work out, I tell him to leave. Is it that easy??
He then brings up stuff about my adult child that doesn't like him and I've made no progress and why can't I be honest about it with him??
Help!!! Do I just walk away after 6 years of dating him. He says he would just date me instead of living together but is that an answer???
I never feel comfortable telling if people should walk away or not because I don’t know how the rest of your relationship is. However, don’t doubt yourself- these are DEFINITELY lies. Consistent and big lies. Big lies in any relationship show a break of trust and respect, which for me at least, make up huge parts of a relationship. Lying about something aa big as finances is something else. A $500 difference isn’t a small white lie. It’s a big red flag that you need to be honest with yourself about. Ask yourself if you want to be in a relationship where you have to monitor and baby someone’s finances because they’re too irresponsible to do so. Personally, that’s a no. I think you desperately need to have a serious talk about him with this because it’s very serious. Ask him why he lies? If he takes it lightly again and ignores it, then he just face you the clearest answer on what to do.