Should I worry?
My wife of 26 years has become friendly with a male work colleague. A bit of back ground first, she gets on better with male friends than female friends. I can sometimes get a little jelious, but generally I am OK with her male friends. To me this time it's different. They went out on a works evening about 5 weeks ago, since then they have been out for drinks 6 times. She is always texting him. We have spoken about it, and she assures me there is nothing going on, and I beleile her 99%, but there is this little 1% He has made it clear to her he fancies her. She had told him on more than one occasion that she is not interested in that kind of relationship, but just wants to be friends. She has shown me his texts and her responses. She had admitted the she is flattered by the attention. She does not go out with her other friends anywhere near as much. If she goes out, she always asks if I mind her going, I always say no that's fine, although she knows I am not really happy about it. She also texts me when she arrives and when on way home. I am currently working away, so go on the Monday and back on Friday. When I get home she is genuinely please to see me. Our sex life has gone from once every couple of months to 2 or 3 times on a weekend. We had a couple of days away together last weekend and we did things sexually we have not done in years. Normally if I suggest anything or ask her to wear some nice underwear I get accused of putting her under pressure. This weekend nothing like that at all. This is also confusing me.
Is this just the jelious streak in me. Or do you think I should worry. While I am away it has become all consuming to me, I can hardly think of anything else.
Thanks for listening.
Once it was made clear what his intentions were; your wife should have ended right there. To continue this "were just friends" is being disrespectful to you and your marriage. You say "she knows I am not really happy about it" yet she continues..BE up front and honest and tell your wife; to wind it down; when he gets his own woman; maybe you guys could double date; but you want your married wife back
Since when did married woman date the office "hard bod" with their husbands ok?
Anytime "alcohol" is present; judgment, boundaries; marriage vows can become "blurred". You should be concerned about the frequency of these after hour dates. Regarding the sex, are you saying that the time your wife spends with this man; the better sex you're getting??? Think about.
Man where to start. First of all there is such a thing as "emotional infidelity". And I don't care what year it is a wife doesn't have an intimate male friend and vice-versa. It means a) she shares intimacies with him she does not with you b) she shares intimacies about you with him. Just wrong on every count. AND he has shown interest in her so any feedback he gives her will all be consciously or subconsciously geared towards his ends (or, er, her end).
Your increased sex life and acts should be a huge red flag.
Ask yourself this; if the positions were reversed would it be seen as ok by anyone included your wife? If you went out at all hours and texted at all hours with a hot female co-worker who said she wanted you, you talked with her about your wife, your problems with your wife, likely your sexual issues/history with your wife? If you suddenly started wanting her at all hours and wanted do to things you never did? No wife in the world would let this happen or let it go this far.
She has some serious choices to make, being honest with herself and you is one. You do as well. IMHO it has sort of gone too far already and uiltimatums even if they work won't remedy it. I'd advise counseling and ASAP.
Same old mundane activity is usually what causes this in a marriage. Especially after 26 years which is a long stretch.
She has friendship outside the marriage from a Male co worker so she says and is flattered by the attention. However is not interested in that kind of relationship.
You mentioned that you had great sex three times on a weekend. I believe that she's re kindling that fire that you had years ago and senses that hint of jealousy.
Tell her to break off that texting with the co worker at once and no more communication with him period!