I have been with my partner for just over 1 year and we have 2 puppies together.
When I first met him, it was through mutual friends. I had not long come out of a very bad relationship and was feeling pretty down about myself and he made me feel special again.
A year down the line we have been having usual problems but recently the arguements we have been having have been petty and last for hours. We always seem to make up but in my mind I am still feeling down from the arguement. I believe it comes from my previous relationship where it was easier to admit you were wrong (even if you werent) than defenf yourself.
The other weekend we barely spoke and I felt so alone even though I was with him.
I suggested we went on a break for a couple of days so we could both ear out heads and just to have some space.
Last night, just under a week after we decided to go on a break, he rang me in tears saying he was on his way to mine. He told me how much he loved me and how hard it had been. He had been working close to my work and said that the waited one day to see we go to work. He had also sent me flowers to my work place and I burst into tears.
I eventually got him to calm down a bit and to head home as I didnt want to see him because I dont know what I want to do. He kept telling me he wanted it to work and that he would give me more time if I wanted it. We are meeting up next Friday to talk about things and I know its going to be difficult.
I still dont know what I want and I dont know what to do. What do I say to him? I dont know whether I want to be with him and I know he will take it to heart and blame himself.
I do love him but I dont know if I am in love with him.
I need help because I feel alone and so confused.
If you've not long come out of a bad relationship before meeting your boyfriend then it sounds like you need to be on your own for a while. Being in a bad relationship can make you feel badly of yourself and you need sometime to yourself to discover you again. At the time You saw him as a friend at the time and someone to talk to but If you still do only see him as a friend and not in love with him then be honest and tell him when you see him. don't continue the relationship if it's not what you want. You can't control his feelings or how he reacts to what you want. Sometime you got to do what's right for you :-)
Give yourself sometime to recover from this loss and to discover yourself again.