So I have been married for a little bit over a year now, and I am expecting. I never really had a good relationship with my in laws. They think my husband is an angle/god and even his cousins agree that they treat and talk about him like he is a god. So obviously ever since I came into his life I was never good enough for him. They always talked about me and my parents; in fact, there was an instance were his mom called said my parents were bad because I was out until 1 in the morning when I was 20 years old. Anyways, they have said and done a lot of hurtful things, we even had to cancel our wedding because they wanted to plan everything and make my parents pay for everything. This is an ongoing problem because my husband can never stand up to them.
Things got a better after we got married because I moved to another state with my husband due to his job. He is in the military and he is now deployed. I am pregnant and decided to move back home to finish college and have my baby. Well is baby shower time and its so stressful. Its so stressful planning what i think should be very simple. His family goes crazy about parties, that is why we cancel our wedding.
My mom is putting the venue, decorations, dessert table. while my mother inlaw and my husbands grandma are going half on the food. When i asked if they were putting the plates my mother in law almost screamed no! which i got annoyed by because i just needed to know what i have to buy. This annoys me so much and it angers me because I know that they are gonna say they helped with everything and at the same time they are gonna talked within themselves about the decoration and desserts because they didnt chose them. They get mad when I dont agree with something that they would like to have in the baby shower. If I dont agree is because they dont want to pay for it. They just want to say they threw me the baby shower.
Anyways, I wish I could just cancel the whole thing but my mom says that they already ruined my wedding so to i shouldnt let them ruin the baby shower by cancelling it. But i want my mom to have credit too. Its a small party nothing big and is mostly his family since we dont have family in our hometown. This is just stressful and i needed to vent. thank you!
Why do they see your husband as a ‘God’? Does he seem to think he is amazing as his family make him out to be?
They (his parents) seem like they’re very controlling people if they’ve caused problems with you both getting married and have made assumptions about your family without knowing them.
Now your pregnant they’re doing the same thing with the baby shower and they will continue to be like this when your baby comes too and probably tell how to raise your baby.
Look up narcarissm and see if your in-laws fit the traits and research about it.
Narcs don’t change so it’s best to learn all about it and what you can do. how to talk to them assertively etc. Because you do deserve respect. And I think you and husband will need to start putting your foot down.
Ask your husband to support you too.
Hi! No my husband doesn't think of himself as a God and that actually puts a lot of pressure on him. He cannot even drink a beer without them thinking that he has ruined his life. He does, however, try everything to not disappoint them even if it means lying to them about not drinking or going to church. My husband also finds it really hard to stand up, especially to his mom. Sadly, both the wedding and now the baby shower happen while he is deployed. So I notice that he uses that as an excuse to not have my back, he will avoid the situation as long as he can.
Are you considering moving away from these people once the baby is here and you've finished Collège? These toxic people will only continue to undermine and disrespect you and your family. Distance can give you & your husband a chance to live your own lives.