The horns of an emotional departure dilemma
In short. Very good friend about to move quite far away. I'm very in love with him, without him knowing anything - as far as I can tell. Actually, I have no idea if he has any idea, which is probably for the best, I must admit. I've no wish for him not to move away. It's potentially life-changing for him. I'm genuinely happy for and proud of him.
I'm in a relationship with someone. I've no wish to end or change what I have. I've no wish to cause any sadness or hurt to the person who's leaving or my partner. That seems to mean I have to endure a lot of internal sadness and hurt. Saying anything, now, to the guy who's leaving feels like it would be total selfishness on my part.
So. Am I doing it right in suffering in silence? Or am I just wallowing in self-pity? Do I have any right at all to say anything at all now or ever? Can I tell him he means the world to me (literally that, no more) or anything else?
I have no idea what is the best or right thing to do.
If you are in a relationship with someone else, you really have no right to declare your love for anyone else.
What is that guy supposed to do with that information? What did you fantasize would happen?
Tell him his friendship has been precious to you . That’s it.
If something’s wring with your current relationship, then deal with it. Sounds like you are not happy, or your heart would not have been tempted.
Thank you. Uncompromising comments, so very helpful. Exactly what was needed.
Sounds like you are afraid to be alone. That's why you are sticking with your bf. No, absolutely do not tell your friend how you feel. It's good that he leaving. Maybe now you get passed what you are feeling and focus on the poor bf who has no idea his gf is deceiving him.