Love Match Calculator

Was a breakup the right decision even if there’s abuse?

Posted by
on Sep 13 2019 at 11:50
Member since: 23 March 2019
Relationship advice I broke up with my boyfriend of several years just the other day and until the end he was blaming my adult child because my child doesn’t like him and he said she has been the cause of the downfall of our relationship. I pointed out to him that that that is not necessarily true because it’s really his constant lying that has been the downfall of our relationship even though the fact that she doesn’t like him doesn’t help.

If I really believed that my kid would a accept him and I would be satisfied with the relationship that may be possible. He just doesn’t get that I can’t tolerate his lying and failure to ever take responsibility and apologize when he’s wrong as well as being very selfish and uncaring in certain situations including his verbal attacks on me. I find it unbelievable that he knows he verbally attacked me and never apologized and even more unbelievable that he never admits he lied but throws my kid under the bus.

Of course I feel very sad and I’m fairly certain I did the right thing but there’s always a little doubt. I know we all have a fault so how do I know I made the right decision? Could he be right that I was looking for excuses to break it off with him so I don’t have to deal with my kid?

The day after we had I broke up with I noticed a large bruise on my arm where he grabbed me during our fight the other day and this is not been the first time.

Was a breakup the right decision even if there’s abuse?
Reply from
on Sep 13 2019 at 12:47
Member since: 27 December 2013
You say he’s a liar, doesn’t accept responsibility for his actions, verbally abuses you, and has grabbed and bruised you. Keep remembering these things. (I bet you can add to the list, too)

Try to figure out why you doubt yourself. Are you afraid of being aline? Your adult child giving you problems? Feeling like you have no support? Cut off from friends and healthy connections?

Consider counseling. You need to get strengthened so you don’t get sucked back into this dysfunctional relationship, just because that’s all you have known. Good luck!

Was a breakup the right decision even if there’s abuse?
Reply from
on Sep 14 2019 at 15:31
Member since: 04 May 2018

You describe him as a Disrespectful, abusive; A liar who can't apologize when he's wrong; uncaring and a selfish person. Is this what you're willing to settle for? I think you deserve more than the bottom of the barrel. LIARS can't be trusted. It will be important for your daughter to see what women should NEVER accept nor tolerate in a relationship.

I totally think you did the right thing. You left for VALID reasons- don't second guess yourself- give it time; you're now free to wait for your blessing; a man who can treat you like you should be treated.

Move on; you deserve much better.

This thread is currently due to expire in 57 days