Anxiety, relationships and crushes
like alot of people i have really bad anxiety and im also one of those people who hide it from others. i dont do well in relationships and tend to get kinda freaked out when ppl want to be with me if i dont like like them. i cant say no and thats kinda what happended with my current boyfriend, it started as just try it you dont have to do anything. its been a couple months now and he keeps saying i love you which makes me really uncomfortable. i cant break up with him as then part of my friendship group would fall apart. i dont feel it tho i feel numb lately and i can kinda tell my mental health is declining ive told im not myself lately either. what makes this all worse is i think i still like his best friend though i think im just looking at reasons to feel worse as for 2 years ive only thought of him as a friend (previously we both really liked eachother, quite a few people still joke that we should be together but in actuality i still only think of him as a really good friend ) im writing this as i think so if it doesnt make sense im sorry. also my best friends are all either falling out with me because i dont do anything anymore or because theyre spending more time with their new boyfriends and friends which i understand but it still hurts. over the past 5 years a lot of things have gone wrong and i went fro being healthy and happy to a post suicidal, anxiety ridden mess that part doesnt matter just thought it would give more context to the way i think. any advice?
also my boyfriend texts me all the time and unknowingly brings up alot of my anxiety triggers ; i feel sick/suffocated whenever i see his name come up in my notifications
Guess what? MOST people get “ freaked out” when they are in uncomfortable situations ( to their own degree) . And it will happen a lot in your lifetime , because that’s life.
But you can lead your own life or let life’s events run you. Time to get the skills that will help you deal with what happens. That includes deflecting, avoiding, ignoring, taking on, and/or creating what happens to you. YOU must be in charge!
1) Tell your BF that you need some space and want to remain friends. He will deal with that in his own way. Be firm since you can’t move forward until this is settled.
2) Accept that group dynamics change as you get older and the number if close friends gets smaller and more important. So the “gang” may change, but friendship with one or two people can remain- plus there’s getting new close friends.
3) Move slowly in boy/ girl relationships. No need to “have” to be involved.
4) Do you have access to counseling? Someone to talk to (adult or older female)? Study “co-dependency” and you may see yourself. The anxiety thing needs to be dealt with, for sure.