JOANNE5057 (alias modified to protect identity) - Sep 29 2019 at 14:35
I had a friends with benefit (M) relationship for 3 years.I ended it in February, went online and met A. At first he was really intense,wanted to see me, be his girlfriend, said he was falling for me and then he'd go cold, i was confused. In the meantime M contacted me, he missed me etc, i slept with him, split up with A after a huge argument, i said some nasty things to him.Anyway i ended things with M, then started speaking to A again, he was really nice to me. We've met a couple of times, but i don't know where i stand with him now, he says he misses me, but he takes ages to reply to my texts after he's read them, when he works nights he calls me. Am i reading too much into it?he knows i cheated on him so is it my guilt that makes me so insecure?one minute i see a future the next i don't!
You need to step back and have a look at what's happening in your life. You cant see a future because you're not making one for yourself when you're going from one guy to the other. You need a partner who will respect you and be there for you but if you don't expect this in a relationship, then you're just going to keep on hurting yourself and ending up with guys who see you as an insecure person and then treat you accordingly.
FWBs are all OK but if you end it, then you need to dig deep and treat it as finished, just as with any other relationship. You need to be kind to yourself which will allow you to eventually overcome your feelings of guilt and insecurity.
You need to give both guys the boot. You're not in a position to be in a stable relationship right now. You know that even if things go well with A, if M calls, you will go running and sleeping with him again. Drop them both and take some time to reestablish yourself.