Long distance low income
Will try to keep this as short as possible to save time. I'm almost 40 years old, the girl I love is in her 30's.
I fell in love with a girl who lives in a poor country. We started off as friends, and as I'm a bit of a loser I never expected more. After knowing this girl a few years and experiencing a certain life event I decided to tell her how I felt about her. It turned out she felt the same.
I've always been employed in low paying unskilled jobs as I don't even drive. I do have a side hustle that gives a little extra income but it's sporadic and unreliable. The money I earn from my main job covers bills month to month.
Her job also just about allowed her to make ends meet but it made me jealous as it involved talking to guys. We agreed that if she couldn't work her job I'd send her money instead. She never finished high school in her country so getting a regular job for her is incredibly difficult.
It's been this way for about 3 years now. Because I send money to her I'm never able to save to actually be together. We used to Skype often but this year I've been feeling so low and tired from always working or trying to find ways to earn more money. I have some savings but I really need a lot more. With no way to earn it I feel like I'm sinking into a deep depression.
I'm overweight, no skills or qualifications, can't drive, no money to be able to learn to drive, and still not even a passport. I also have a criminal record from about 16 years ago which I feel help me back quite a bit. When a lot of my friends were embarking on careers I was being turned down for jobs stacking shelves(I eventually did get a job stacking shelves).
I don't know what to do now. I need to earn more money but I don't feel mentally or physically able to do many jobs that earn just an average salary here(UK). I feel my only hope is to try more ways to earn money online but the problem is I'm so tired from work and my existing side hustle(and sometimes eBay) that I really don't feel like I have much time to spare when I'm not half asleep.
Thank you for reading and any help or advice given.
You are paying her to NOT work, thus hurting your own financial welfare?
What kind of work did she do that would make you so jealous?
She’s a “kept woman” now, I’m sure you realize that.
Her previous work was as a cam model. She does work sometimes, but it's incredibly low paying work, sub minimum wage due to the lack of employee protections and corrupt government in her country. Without a college degree it's unlikely that someone would get a job working in a fast food place there.
We both have similar levels of poverty in our respective countries.
This has been going on for three years! You deserve better!
You need to decide (with her) how you two are going to get together ( (physically, a visit) or you need to end it. Because as it is, you are supporting her and not getting anything back to warrant this huge sacrifice you are making.
In the meantime, your life is passing.
Yes, that is the problem. Neither of us wants to end it. She had the option of going with another guy before me but rejected him in favour of me. The only problem is me being able to earn enough money for us to be together. As you say, life is passing for both us but there is nobody else I ever want to be with, only her. She feels the same. So the issue is purely monetary.
It's not like I'm asking for a million dollars or anything. I just want to be able to earn a bit less than the average joe earns as that would be enough to make my dreams come true. I just can't see any options that allow me to do that, and so I'm stuck in this endless cycle.