Help!?!? Help me decide
This is not a relationship or dating question
I’m kindly ask you for advice because it’s been 6 months deciding which path should I take and as of today I’m still undecided. Giving me your advice would be a big help.
So I just recently became an Accountant last May and I’m now working at a job which I don’t really like. The benefit really doesn’t outweigh the cost and I’m not having a work life balance because we are leaving the office at 12am and have to get back by 7am. What is worse is we are not being paid well. So I’m definitely leaving my job this month.
My mom just told me that it’s better to learn something new and not just to work 24/7. She told me that she will let me decide whether to take law and stay in my country or to pursue a master’s degree abroad and I should make my decision by December
I’m actually having a hard time which path I should take because every option has its pros and cons. I’m actually deciding whether to find a job opportunity abroad or to stay in my country and work here while studying law. The reason why I wanted to go abroad is because I feel more free when I’m with the people who are different. I would feel less judgement because some people really woudn’t understand why you’re doing something unlike when you are in your country where you have the same belief with others and you are more likely to be judged. It’s like siblings with the different gender are less likely to fight compared to the same gender. You understand? Also, it’s because working there could give me more cash inflow. Getting International currency because of my job could give me more cash if translated to my country which I could possibly give more to my parents and I will pursue a master’s degree there. The things that I didn’t like about this is that I would be separated from my family especially my parents. They mean so much to me especially my mom and going abroad will left me thinking and wondering how they are. They are already on their 60’s and I should do my best to be always there for them right? I dunno and I would not be able to do that If I would go abroad.
On the other hand, If I chose to stay here and pursue law while working. A good advantage for that is that I’m also going to become a lawyer which both of my parents are. It’s nice because I was primed by myself, my friends, relatives that in the future I’m going to be a lawyer. And staying here and working means that I will be there with my family to be there for them. Of course I know what it feels if you are already a parent and your son is not with you side right? specially if you’re a senior. But the disadvantage is that, I would not be able to help them financially because every employees here in our country is very very low and if you’re lucky you could make a good living for yourself only especially if you’re just a startup. Also, taking passing the bar exam is less likely to happen because of the small amount of passing rate around 17%. Getting a Master’s degree abroad is more doable.
My brother actually told me that the first one is the better option but my friends told me the the second option is better
What do you guys think? if you are in my shoes, which path should you take?
Hello. I am sorry to hear about your dilemma. I will put my thoughts forward and hopefully, you can think about them.
Your parents are adults, they can look after themselves. But i get the sense that it is difficult for you to emotionally separate from them?
The way you are talking about your parents is as if you are their only child and you feel fully responsible for them. But this is not the case. You have a brother, who sounds like a guy who wants you to be happy.
Do you want to be a lawyer or do your parents want you to be a lawyer? And just a thought: there are plenty people out there who became lawyers fulfilling other people’s wishes but they never actually succeed into practice. Finishing a law degree it does not necessarily mean that you will be a lawyer. Unless this is your dream job?
The other interesting thing is about judgement. What is it about it? Are you in love with the same sex and you are afraid to be judged? It is not clear from your note but I get the sense that this might be the case. Be honest to yourself: what is really this freedom about? What is it that you want to run away from?
How old are you? Can you take your own decisions at your own time without allowing external pressures about deadlines? Or are you afraid of disagreement and/or rejection by your parents if you were to speak up for yourself? Convey your thoughts and decisions in a calm, diplomatic way but be firm in them.
My advice if any will be: start living YOUR life. Stop being a shadow of it.
I hope that helps. Best wishes.
Thanks for your reply I really appreciate it.
Just to let you know I'm not gay. I just felt going to a different country is just a way just to recreate myself that's why. The bad thing about this is that I want to do both. Being a lawyer is also my dream job since I was a kid but I think I could earn more if I were to work on a different country. So I consider both choices but I'm having a hard time to decide which is better.
I'm 24 right now and I admit yes I'm a mamas boy. Going to a different country might fulfill my desire to live free and to earn savings rightaway but I might regret not staying and to study so I could be a lawyer. On the other hand staying and studying law might make me regret that I should have lived free and have a savings rightaway on a different country.
Hope you could help me with this? thank you
Thanks for the reply. So you were in my shoes, would you choose the first option or the second option?