Hello everyone. I thought asking for other people’s experiences. Are you and your partner sleeping in separate beds? If yes, I would love to hear from you and your thoughts. My partner insisted that we sleep separately. My partner’s sleep is irregular and bad, and that is accordingly, the main reason to want it. I suspect There is more to it e.g.my partner’s parents slept in separate beds. I wonder what that meant to my partner!?. I don’t know why things went that way between us. I remember that I protested, was sad, angry for a long time. But now I just accepted it. In the last month, I found myself even wanting to be alone in bed, which is something very new for me. It upsets me too, because I also feel lonely pretty much a lot of the time and it seems to me that psychologically, i stopped fighting for us. For our relationship. I feel that I am giving up. Our sex life is getting destroyed and it used to be relatively good. Now is maybe once in a month or two and I am very concerned about that too. We are 37 & 47 years old And we want to have a family too. We both love each other and it is very unfortunate what is happening with us- at least in my eyes. My partner does not want to go to couples therapy and the “sex talking” is a sensitive subject which my partner does not want to talk about with me either. So conversations about it are rare and always initiated by me: in the past now too. Any thoughts would be much appreciated. Thanks.
IMO separate beds to sleep have nothing to do with a relationship’s sex life.
Is it separate beds or separate bedrooms?
Thx for your reply. Both: separate beds and bedrooms.It may be something different for my partner, I don’t know. Not an easy subject, as mentioned.
I can speak about myself. The move affected me both emotionally and sexually in a very negative way. I am upset about it, feel lonely and my sexual desire without physical closeness is disappearing. I worry too, as mentioned, that i found myself now wanting to be on my own, which was not the case in the past.
At the same time we care for each other and I do believe we love each other. But my question was more about other people’s experience with separate beds & bedrooms. How do they feel about it?
Thank you for your time. Best wishes.
When did this sleeping arrangement start ?
Well, just how is he when sleeping? Is he a snorer? Thrashes around? Up and down all night? How would you ever get some real rest with that?
Have you told him how you feel? Sad, lonely, pushed away? Yes, parental modeling might have something to do with this.
How about at least getting the beds into the same room? That might be a first step to reduce the disconnect you are feeling.