I'm 13, almost 14, had a friend? for a few months, we both have autism, sometimes we're friends, besties, and sometimes we're neither, We've fought numerous times recently, she keeps calling me stupid. Her mum has to keep coming back to me and tells me she doesn't mean it and that it's 'just the way she speaks to her friends'. She even called me a bitch for telling her to fuck off when she called me stupid.
And what's worse my mother takes her side every time just cos she's older!! Our parents keep arranging meetups against my will so we can hang out.
One day my friend was all trying to hug me and she even kissed me as a way of showing she cares, and the next time we hang out we're back to fighting again.
We were meant to go to a music concert together in a few days by Aurora in another part of the country but I'm not going because although I wanted to be there for her, my mother forbids me from going to the concert because it'll be too loud for me to handle, I'm very sensitive to noise, I have misophonia. And I'm too young to go but we were gonna lie about it at the entrance, just to give you an idea of the extremes I wanted to go through to be there for my friend. I hate travelling, I hate being away from home and I hate loud noises.
Friend said she wants to get, as she quotes, 'pissed' on alcohol when she's 18, she's 16 atm. She says she's really depressed since the age of 4. I'm very much the opposite of her and to me she comes across as very negative and everything I say and do to try and help her doesn't seem to work, as she says she doesn't believe me and she says she's worthess. No one seems to be able to tell her otherwise.
She's a very negative person, when we hang out she talks about the bad things and it's not good for my health and I've tried to tell her to talk more positively on numerous occassions but she said that what I'd said was stupid, she obviously has no means to change and she ruins my good mood and positive vibes, I don't want to hang out with her anymore.
BUT my parents keep going to her house and her parents keep bringing her to our house so we're basically forced to hang out with each other and I can't just stay in my room because I'm forced to get out of it or I'm faced with some sort of threat that if I don't hang out with her, my phone will get confiscated.
And our parents are determined after every fight we have to bring us back together and it works for some time and then we fight again! because my mother is friends with hers, and our sibblings are friends, and I'm friends with her sister, who, by the way, has ditched me for halloween to hang out with her boyfriend despite previously making plans with me so I don't really want to be friends with her either!
Recognize that all adults here are overly involved in their kids’ lives and it will take some time and maturity to break free, on your part. They mean to protect you but now, they stunt your independence and growth.
Gently tell your parents to please stop running your social life. Tell all other adults you are now capable of handling your social schedule.
Spend time with this girl and if things get too intense, give yourself permission to get in a more calm place , like going home. No more if her being “ dumped” on you without your permission.
Do everything you can to widen your social life. Join clubs or find some things to do that involve animals. You will meet other people that way.