Is it something wrong with me? Advice from men would be helpful
I'm new to this but I really need a little help. Me and my boyfriend have been together over 2 years now and sex has always been really good with us. There has always been a few times where we havent had sex as much cause of just being tired or he says hes just having a 'dry spell'. I'm always understanding about it too but it's happening again and it really getting to me.
Ive just had his baby who is 6 months old now and he was like this when I got further on in the pregnancy and I understood it and didnt think too much into it even though it bothered me slightly.
Hes now started being like it again and says hes just going through a dry spell and just doesnt want it much. I've asked if it's me and he said no but then I've caught him watching porn which I do understand men do that it's fine but when hes not wanting sex with me but will get himself off to porn? Does that mean that it's something to do with me?
He said all men go through stages like this and I get it but then I dont at the same time. I feel like I'm not enough or he doesnt want me anymore.
He never initiates sex either, it's always me which is annoying too.
He smacks my bum all the time and stuff like that but then just doesnt seem to want to have sex much, its just frustrating, sex isn't everything I get that but I'm feeling so unwanted right now.
Please help me understand. Any advice?
I think that it would be wise if you talk to him and sit him down. Tell him how you feel about not feeling important and that it irritates you that you have to initiate the sex first. I also think that maybe there other ways to spark his sex drive that might lead him more to egage in more sexual experience.
If you would like to email me and talk about this more feel free to email me at [e-mail address removed]
Your issue is that there's no way he can have a dry spell if he's watching porn during this time. There's nothing wrong with porn in a relationship as long as it's mutual. However, if your guy gets himself off watching it rather than with you, then it's a big flag. It doesn't necessarily mean that there's something wrong with you but rather, it means that he's using the porn to bacisally reject you which is why you are beginning to feel the way you are. In other words, the porn is replacing you at times.
Yeah, us men go through dry spells (which, unless it's a medical/health issue, doesn't last long) but when we do, we absolutely have no interest whatsoever in sex, instead we sometimes look for the other things in a relationship like emotional security and approval from our partner. You need to have a serious talk with your guy and get him to open up as to why he uses porn. He could be addicted to it and if that's the case, then it'll be his issue to sort.