Unhealthy relationship with my mother
I am in my late 20's and have always struggled to have a close connecting relationships its my mother. I am the oldest child and our family has been through a lot like many others. I admit I am very stubborn and connect better with my father since she share the same qualities. However, my entire life I have never been able to tell my mother about personal (relationships, sexual life, serious emotions I have had) like other girls my age have. She is not open and is very judgmental. I think it partially is because of how her parents raised her, very conservative and her parents passed when she was in her 30's. I am in graduate school, still living at home and can't afford to move out until I start working. I have never been able to have guys around my house since I am the oldest child and I have been struggling with being happy and getting through each day. I don't think I am depressed but it has seriously been affecting me the terrible relationship I have with my mother. We just don't get along and she screams at me as if I am the worst person in the world. From the outside, we look like this perfect family but we are far from it. I am jealous of my friends who are best friends with my mother and I am stuck between not being able to move out which might help the problem or just giving up completely on trying to fix things and working my ass off until I can take care of myself
Sounds like you know where her temperament comes from, so why do you still want it to be better? Might as well ask her to lift 500 pounds. She can’t give you what she doesn’t have.
Is there a reason you are still home? Do all you can to get an apartment or rent a room. You need some space between you and your mother.
My mother was not nurturing to me so I found that kind of attention in other older women. It helped me immensely. You can find these mother- friends at church or volunteer work or even your job.
PS - I have long forgiven my parents for not parenting me and my brother better. Considering what they went through as children, it was a miracle they did as much as they did. I have found a few good qualities they left behind, and forget/ forgive the rest.
Hello Summerlove, how have you been? I hope its well.
I am writing because I read about your relationship problem you have with your mother and was sad to see that today you are unhappy with your family.
Problems with parents are always very common and it is extremely normal to have more affinity with your dad ends up being the next close of a friend you have at home.
I don't believe the answer for you is to leave home because the problem will not change for you to when do you leave home. You did you say your mother had a more conservative upbringing and it is only natural that she did the same to you because she believes the education she had was the right way. My suggestion is that you should sit down and talk to her with all due respect about things you don't like and why these attitudes don't like you. Talk about your anxieties and even your desire to leave the house because of this behavior, I believe that as much as it does not change the first time she starts to act differently in small things.
Its important to you say about things who you like to.
I hope I helped, and I hope everything goes well with your mother.