I want to change college course and move away
Hi, I'm a 19 yr old girl from Ireland. I'm halfway through my second year of college and I'm really unhappy with where I am. I don't like my course, I don't have many friends even though I live in the city where I grew up and I'm unhappy with living at home (my house is 20 mins away from the college).
I really want to change course completely and maybe even move country, like to the UK, Canada or the US. I really just feel trapped where I am. I have a history of depression and an eating disorder and lately I've been really struggling with a relapse because I'm so unhappy. I feel so lonely that I've come to an online forum to ask for help lol.
I don't know whether I should just suck it up and get on with it or if I should move away and start a new life for myself. I'm very confused and I'm starting to have thoughts of harming myself which I really don't want to go through again.
I don't know. If anyone can relate or has gone through this and has any advice I would really appreciate it.
I think if you’re really unhappy find out about changing courses/uni. I Think even if you just look into and see how possible it is, it will make you feel a bit better.
With going abroad to uni, weight out the pros and cons, don’t go to the other end of the scale and do something drastic, then regret it and become even more unhappy, you might not but It will (obviously) be different. consider things like home sickness/being in a different country by yourself and if it will be if it your mental health. If you think you’ll be fine then that’s great.
I go to uni and it’s only an hour-ish away from home and I’m very pleased I moved out of my family home, not coz I dislike my family, but for the independence and maybe that’s what you’re missing?
I really appreciate your response, and I agree I think moving out would help me a lot. I’ve talked about this with my parents and thankfully they’ve said they will support me as long as it’s financially available.
I’m going to finish out this year and decide where to go from there. Thanks so much again :).
I can really empathise with much of your story. During times of uncertainty or worry, my eating disorder would return. When everything was out of control, I wanted to retain something, so controlled my eating. It’s not a coping strategy, and I suggest you speak to someone- anyone, and get some help.
Moving away is a big step, and you’ll never know until you try it. I went away to Uni, 3 hours away. I didn’t like it, it was an instant thing, I knew I wouldn’t be happy there. I got a single train ticket home 10 days later, and I’m glad I did! Prior, I worked out what I would do, so my family could see I was serious. I got a job, worked, applied for another uni at home, to start the following year. I then went travelling and had the best year!! To test the water, why don’t you go somewhere for a short time? Consider working abroad, lots of charities offer work in return for food and board. Camp America was something I wish I’d done. 8 weeks living in the US, you get paid and are living a long way. Not an ideal job if you don’t like kids! ? You don’t have to want to work in that area, but there are lots of skills you can use/learn whilst there. It’s a good option, as it’s 2 months. It’s doable, even if you hate it? That way, you’ve not signed up for 4 years, to a place you’re not sure about.
Life has a way of twisting and turning and it’s up to us to navigate. Sometimes we take the right path, sometimes we don’t. It’s up to us to take what we can from the wrong turn, and guide ourselves back into the right path.
Talking things over with people helps, like you’re doing on here. It’s harder when people are deeply connected to the decision making, as their bias, affects their judgement. Do you have a cool Aunt or Uncle who are good listeners? What about a teacher? I know you said you don’t have lots of friends, but I’m sure you have someone to chat with, even if it’s just to let off steam. I find talking out loud to my Dog helps! Getting things off your chest, without being interrupted is very cathartic!! Let me know how you get on! Lx
That's why we are here for. If not for help at least we are here listening to you. :)
You know people with an history of depression shouldn't be alone. When I decided to go to the university I decided that I wanted to go as far away from home as possible. It cost me a lot of money and also my mental health.
I was constantly nervous and concerned. In a very unhealthy way. Since my mental health was already fragile I couldn't fight it on my own... I started to get extremely anxious with many things. Stupid things.. like going out to classes, leaving the room, money... I would get anxiety attacks. I forced myself to study so hard I would forget to eat.
But I found out what I really liked. Microbiology.
So I went back home and changed course. The extra money helped me a lot to get my own place. My family is nearby and I ended up making a lot of friends in the new course. :d
Sokanu is a career aptitude test that is perfect! If I have done it sooner, I wouldn't be wasting my time with something I wouldn't like. :) Maybe try it just for curiosity.