Is this harassment or just an ex who still cares about me?
I broke up with my ex about 4 months ago after a very long term relationship. He became very controlling and verbally abusive towards me during the last 6 months. Overall, I'd rate the relationship a good one but we definitely had our ups and downs. We never lived together but he really was pushing for that during the last year together.
Since our breakup he has tried to reach me by text under the guise of "caring for my well being" and wanting to share what's been going on with him since "we were partners for almost 7 years". I have not replied except for one time and just told him I'm fine and in the process of rebuilding my life. He then asked what that was all about and I told him I didn't care to share. I then found out he met my son to pick out a tv (for the ex) and they had dinner but he didn't bring me up much other than telling my son he's been out on a few dates and that him and I were in touch a little (really??). That confused my son but I straightened it out.
My ex also told me he started dating right after our breakup (it was a fix up) and consisted of 6 dates but he wasn't sure he wanted to continue the relationship (ps: who cares???) and he asked me if I'm seeing anyone, to which I didn't reply.
Well...today, he once again reaches out to me and says that I haven't been seen by anyone (himself or his friends), kinda like "Bigfoot" (I suppose that's supposed to be funny?) and was I traveling and/or seeing anyone? Also, once again, just b/c we're not together doesn't mean he's not thinking of me every now and then and he was very careful not to bring me up when he met my son. He also added that he'll be out on NYE at a restaurant (that we were out together for most NYE's we were together as well as other special times). He also said he's lost weight and now is a 36 waist instead of 38 (again...who cares?).
I don't want to be a jerk about this since we were together for a long time but:
1.I don't see myself back with him
2.I am seeing someone new and don't think it's right to communicate with my ex
3.I don't trust his motives.
4. I don't want to be harassed if that's what this is.
What should I do?
Your ex is still controlling you by you enabling him to have the means to contact you and by his actions with your son. He can only harass you if you allow him to.
If you can list 4 reasons in your post as to why you don't need him your life anymore, then you have justified your thinking and you have started the process of moving on.
Sure, he may still care about you and it sure looks like he wants to get back together going by his hints in his texts, but if you don't need him then get on with your life without him by wiping him completely.
Why do you keep giving this man permission to continue this relationship? Even your non- responsiveness fills this selfish mans need for attention.
You COULD tell him never to call again. You COULD block him on all social media. Yet, you don’t - which means you like the excitement of this “bad boy” staying in contact and bothering your new relationship (which, from your previous posts, is not that great either.)
Better choices in men, dear, is the solution. And slam shut bad relationships from the past.