PeoplesProblems Logo

Is it "normal" to feel some apathy after a few months with a new partner?

Default profile image
Relationship advice I've been seeing someone for a few months and it's been somewhat intense (at least for me). He's talked about living with me and while I know folks in their older age don't want to fuss around much if they are looking for a serious relationship and also while I'm looking for the same thing it seems that once I'm involved, I become sort of numb to the whole thing. While I care about the other person and want to spend time with them, I get really anxious and nervous about making a commitment. I admit to taking a peak at the dating websites but not reaching out to anyone else. I've thought in the past maybe it's b/c I don't want to have and then lose the person (like my late partner) - it's a pain that I'm sure I can endure again but know that you need to take a chance for love.

Is this due to my anxiety b/c I do really care for my new partner and while I know he has some "faults", don't we all?

Is it "normal" to feel some apathy after a few months with a new partner?

Default profile image
The only other thing I can think of is that I'm concerned that we may not be as compatible as I first thought. Specifically, I want to travel but other than going to Florida for a few days in a few months to visit his friends and my family, when I bring up a bigger trip, he seems to hesitate. And for Florida, so far I've paid the airfare (I have a companion pass but he should pay 1/2 and he hasn't offered to pay for a share of the hotel even though we are staying with his friends a few nights - he should pay 1/2 of the hotel the other nights in my opinion despite one of the reasons we are going to Florida is to attend an event in my family; he also has said many times he wants to move to Florida and he wants to use this trip to look around but he hasn't said anything about what he can afford or asked me what I can afford).

Travel is a passion of mine I've told him many times and I need a partner who is interested and available to do traveling. Also, I'm feeling uncertain about how he is with money - by that I mean, his willingness to share/contribute. He always gives me a card when I see him on weekends and has occasionally brought store flowers as well as 2 pieces of very old jewelry (semi precious stones) from I don't know where, but definitely not my taste and I know he earns a decent living and has no kids, or ex to support anymore. I feel like I'm paying for too many things sometimes including groceries on weekends. I mean early in the relationship if he can comfortably afford these things he should be more generous in my opinion.

Is it "normal" to feel some apathy after a few months with a new partner?

Default profile image
It's not much use wondering why, when you can always just sit your partner down and have a good old serious conversation with him about his choice of gifts and his apparent unwillingness to contribute to costs. There's two of you in your relationship and you need to get to know him better before you can commit properly to it. It's obvious that you have your opinions and views and he has his, but you'll never sort it unless you communicate with him about it.

As for being anxious and nervous and feeling apathy, you need to talk to a counselor who can help you overcome these things.

This thread has expired - why not start your own?

B-1