Narcissist girlfriend sexting another man. Really lost and broken
SPACEMAN91 - Jan 24 2020 at 10:25
2016 Discovered dirty messages from her 40 year old cousin etc her replies we can't be together will break up the family.
I spoke to her mum about it she said I got nothing to worry about she just needs more commitment. So I moved in and gave up my life to start a new.
I got swept up in being a stay at home dad whilst working from home. Took on her step son who I've always seen as my own.
I do all the household chores, cooking seeing to the kids. She just sits on her phone. And once in a blue moon she'll do something and has to let everyone know about it.
She's definitely a narcissist. Everything I do or say is wrong. I'm not allowed to be ill or have an opinion. Constantly moans about everything and needs attention.
We tried for a baby for a few years and after a lot of stress and tests, finally happened.
I try to be a good partner and dad. She moans that I don't hug or kiss her, but when I try she usually pushes me away and says why you doing that. It has to be when she wants. But it has been hard these couple of years when I know she's messaging him. I guess I stayed for the kids. She never genuinely asks about how I feel. I've been on anti depressants and lately she'll say to me why do you look miserable and sound depressed, you need to get over your self. I think bout ending my life everyday. I do feel alone. I know partners moan in general, but it's all the time, I usually just go to the bathroom have a cry and start again.
End of last year begining of this year, Discovered more provocative messages, guess I tried to deliberlty avoid it. and them both saying you are deleting these aren't you. The filth is definitely coming from him. Does make my blood boil some of the things he's saying. Ive stopped anti depressants as feel what's the point.
I've made comments to her about people who sext and emotionaly cheat, and she always agrees it's wrong.
Again spoke to her mother, and she not happy with him and says I need to speak to my partner. She also said it looks one sided and even though she's messaging back he's the one with the dirty text. how on earth do you speak to someone who gets agressive when they're confronted about anything and flip it and make it all your fault. Like when she knows she said something that's upset me, she goes off on one saying why do you do that you've got such an attitude problem i can't say anything.
And I'm constantly being accused of seeing someone else. (really)
Sometimes I do wonder if it's actually me
But a person can only keep up appearances
For so long in a day.
No, it's not actually you but the longer you stay, the more miserable you will become. It's not much use hanging around just for the kids because of the state you're in; which is no good for them and when you're no good for yourself. Your GF could easily block her cousin as she has a choice, just as you do. She doesn't want to break up the family but her actions have been contributing to it from day one. Her mother will always support her whether she's right or wrong and you can't possibly put anymore into your relationship and stay sane when it's a one sided and negative environment.
When she emotionaly cheats on you and throws it back in your face and then has the gall to state that you're seeing someone else, tells you absolutely where you stand. She's not only controlling and insecure but, going by your post, she has no idea of how a loving relationship functions.
Professional counseling will assist you to find the strength to make a move which will eventually help you to heal and regain your happiness without looking back over your shoulder. We all need love and respect in our personal relationships just as we all need to recognise when it's time to move on when things don't work out regardless of our efforts and however hard a thing is to do. There's always a light at the end of the tunnel but we just have to really look for it sometimes.
Narcissists look for someone to give them what they want with no cost. That as the previous writer suggests leads to misery and maybe worse. Have a look at the posts on You Tube about the effects of narcissism in relationships and see if they apply to you. Narcissists do not change easily if ever. Give yourself time to recover and find a professional who understands the effects of narcissism. Get a relationship where the partners are equal and not cheating
This is not a healthy relationship. It makes no sense to stay in it for the kids- That is not the example of a relationship that you would want them to grow up seeing. Your partner does not have your best interest at heart.