The forever pre-engagement
Coming up on a 5 year relationship. My biggest problem is waiting for a ring. We have a 6 year old and we have discussed it before. He says "it will happen" but it's so hard to wait. Especially since his closest friends have gotten into brand new relationships and we've been to all of their weddings in the time that we've been together.
So being the only one in his friend group, not married, makes me feel like trash. It's not that I'm just looking for a diamond. I don't care if it's a chicken nugget. I just want a solid commitment that I can wear proudly everyday. I don't want to pressure him into it or give him an ultimatum saying I'll leave if he doesn't give me one.. but he's always been terrible at planning and I'm worried if I do pressure him into picking up the pace, that I'll be disappointed with the outcome..
I've found myself not being as nice and not putting much effort in our daily lives because I'm fed up on feeling less important. He puts so much thought, time and money into his gaming (it's not his career). Do I leave?
Five years plus a 6 year old make for a fair bit of history and responsibility. Your diamond or chicken nugget needs to come from your man's heart and so any pressure from you is pretty much irrelevant because if you have to pressure him to do the right thing, then it's a red flag for your relationship. Sure, a guy can have other interests which take up some of his time, and be an absent minded, unorganised 'child' but if he had his partner to the fore and up on a pedestal, then her and her happiness would still be his priority.
You need to determine if you love this guy and if he shares your values and goals in life, because if you've stopped putting in 100% into your relationship then you're reflecting what he's putting into it. What you put in, is what you get out and this applies to everything in life.
You ask if you should leave or not. That depends on your values because if your values are not being met you will be unhappy. Work out what your values are around being respected as a partner in a relationship and then hold to them. He will either help you uphold your values or not. I encourage you to hold to our values so your life is what you want.