Friends and relationships
BERNZI - Jan 27 2020 at 11:10
I (37) met a guy (40)from my school days last June, and we were in a relationship from then until November.
He had a problem from day one that I have male friends one of whom is married and one an ex guy from 9 years ago – my ex’s new girlfriend and I are actually more friends than me and him.
I asked all my friends to respect my decision and stand aside. Unfortunately, one evening my married friend contacted me, as usual, I am still being criticised for this.
After we broke up he came back and we basically saw each other for the last 2 months. Of course, I started to reconnect with my friends and once again he had a very big problem with it.
About a week back decided it was not going to work for him and rather let me go.
His opinion is as follows: I have no place for a man in my life and that I have enough men in my life - Married or not, it doesn't bother me.
He has a problem with a married friend I know for 20 years of my life. When he and his wife leave, I look after their home. Yes I do not agree with the fact that he who is married goes out alone and terribly kills him about it. I also know his actions are not my responsibility. But it is a platonic friend and after my old decision he was never going to approve it and step out of my life I went on a Friday night to a place where the friend, another friend (single and also A friend) for 5 years with one of our girlfriends at a place I went to.
The next day my “ex” guy tells me he misses me and comes to visit. He asked me where I was the night before and really knew if I was going to tell him it was trouble from scratch.
But after the 2nd or 3rd time I told him and just as I suspected it caused trouble. He now blocks me and wants nothing more to do with me.
I know no angel. But in the 5 months we went out, I gave no reason to ever be suspicious. I moved my friends aside because I saw something in the relationship that I wanted to look after with everything in me.
When we broke up, I realized that my friends are already a lifetime in my life and no one is allowed to take them away from me. Although I also know that when you are in a relationship, friends also have to go a little and naturally you actually die your single life.
I want to know if my ex is right to act like this.
To your ex, you came across in a certain way and you didn’t like it. I like the way you stick to your principles because by doing that you are giving yourself the best chance for the life you want. Your ex also has principles and a right to express them in the way he wants. You didn’t like what he did? That’s fine. You do not need to accept what he said but in saying it he revealed himself to you. Use whatever he said to your advantage