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Problems with a work colleague

Posted by
on Feb 17 2020 at 20:57
Member since: 17 February 2020
Work advice I recently started a new job and was so happy, as I was at my former workplace for a long time and it was a rather toxic environment.

My new job is a small team, of which I am a part of. There is a colleague, whom at first seemed welcoming. She was a bit of a loud character, but I took this as workplace banter and wasn't offended. Then there was a switch in her behaviour - suddenly she started to avoid eye contact. Was abrupt and short. She is not like this with anyone else - so I discounted there may be a personal reason.

I know I didn't do anything offensive. It is not in my nature, I don't get involved in gossip and I certainly didn't have a situation with her which would have led to her behaviour.

I thought about her behaviour for weeks - at nights I would try to figure out what caused the change in her. I then decided that it was her issue, that not everyone can like everyone and i should just soldier on. But it is so difficult. She still doesn't give me eye contact, she wont say morning or goodbye, she will ask others what their plans for the weekend are - how their day off was and she will not include me. If we are the only 2 workers left, we will sit in silence.

The only time she will talk to me. Is to chastise me when she thinks I have made an error. When I try to explain my position - she will not even entertain me. It is hard not to find it offensive that this is the only time she will speak to me. If i do insist on repeating myself - if i feel I have not made an error she will mutter under her breath to other colleagues. I guess some people may think I should broach this subject with my boss, but I feel this makes me look weak and a pain in the bum. I'm not - i would be happy if she never spoke to me, but to be consistent and not just talk when she wants to question me on work matters and then not listen to my point of view. Sorry for the essay. Was wondering if anyone had been in the same position and how they dealt with it.

Problems with a work colleague

Reply from
on Feb 17 2020 at 23:14
Member since: 29 December 2013
Your work colleague has obviously an issue with you and you need to get to the bottom of it as soon as you can. Her behaviour is blatant victimising and bullying of you. You find it offensive and that's exactly what it is.

Your boss is paid to sort these types of issues regardless if you are a new employee or not and he or she needs a happy team so it's productive. It's not so much about you being seen to be weak, it's about you approaching your boss about illegal behaviour in the workplace which will affect your work ethic, as well as your confidence, if it continues.

If you can't talk to your colleague because she won't acknowledge you or respect you for who you are, and you know that the company actually values it's employees, then you will need to take it higher.

Problems with a work colleague

Reply from
on Feb 19 2020 at 19:40
Member since: 19 February 2020
I’ve just come out of a workplace that sounds just like this. I’d definitely talk to your boss. I didn’t, and got more and more stressed until I let her drive me out. I now regret it, and wish I’d have taken it further.

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