6 years ago my husband started work at a company as a sales rep. there is a office woman who works there and it was xmas time and my husband wanted to know when he was getting paid over the holidays. i was in the car with him when he rang the office and I am convinced I heard her say, don't forget to get me a present. he said she did not say this and said, don't forget to get your wife a present. I asked him why she would she that when of course he would get me something but I think he was lying to get out of what I heard. then he got the xmas gifts for our kids and some for me and he kepted them upstairs in a suitcase. I was being nosy and looked in and there was only one bottle of perfume yet two on the receipt. I kepted looking and looking but could not find the other one. I confronted him because I was thinking of what this office woman had said and he said it might of fell out of the bag, or he might not of picked it up. he goes down stairs comes back after a few minutes and by magic he opens the suitcase and he shows me the other bottle. I think he had got it for her yet denied he did and said he got the other bottle for our daughter. he went to the office party that year and I was arguing with him and he kepted his two phones off. he said one battery had died and the other he could not hear it because he was asleep. he always takes the phone charges with him so I know again this is a lie. I think he slepted with her that night. she is married with kids. the next day he sent me a text to go and talk and stupid me did when the night before he had ignored my calls. he as two phones, one for work one for private use. I know the passwords so can check them but he would hide stuff anyway if he is up to something because he knows I would be checking. i have lived with this for 6 years and everytime he goes to the office for sales meetings or to the office for anything he sees her and i wonder what they talk about and if they sit next to each other and when they go for lunch are they next to each other. there is other men who go to the sales meeting so they are not alone but its still in my head about them together. he said to contact her and ask and i have really been tempted to over the years but he might lose his job and she would deny it anyway im sure. i have saw a picture on his phone of a place he had to do a saw for the company and there is a woman there with her back to the camera, i think this is her. he as said nothing i going or ever as and as never cheated on me even thou i found 1O dating sites on his phone last year which he denies. we have been to marriage counselling on and off for years and i cant seem to put it at the back of my mind. what if he is still cheating with her all these years later. if i had the money i would get him followed. i have said about divorce a number of times to him and been really tempted just to go for it and get it done.
This is Massa again. I remember the day he went for his interview because I was waiting in the car. The office woman came out and I heard her say goodbye then my husbands name. I sometimes wonder if he knew her or if she was a ex. It seemed unusual to me for a woman to go outside and say goodbye. She sat in on the interview with the boss. her husband owns some of the business with the boss.
Massa, if you don't love your husband and have lost the need to be with him, then you really need to go and get that divorce that you post about. If you guys have been to marriage counselling and its not working, then you either put up with your marriage or take the steps to end it. It doesn't matter what your husband is doing, what does matter is that you don't trust him because of his actions, and after 6 years, he's still not doing anything positive about helping you regain that trust.
I am and taking action to get it done. All the trust as gone, he as lied to me, cheated on me, never respected me, belittled me and he's not worth worth it anymore. The day I married him was the day I put a noose around my own neck.