How hard should I push my daughter to accept my boyfriend?
I've been widowed for almost 10 years and during that time, I've had a few relationships. My adult daughter seemed ok with 1 of the prior boyfriends I had - he was very laid back and timid so much so that I bored of him. The next bf she despised- he was very nice to her but didn't have much in terms of assets (compared with me) and had an instance years before where he got in some trouble with his business. I kept them apart but it was a challenge given I saw him for several years.
Now I've been seeing someone for almost 8 months and we get along great - he wants to marry in the next year - let me add we are both older (in our 60s) - the one time my daughter met him she didn't like him b/c she thought he was a controlling person and loud . He does tend to be vocal but he's not obnoxious and is very good to me and my adult son who lives in the area, unlike my daughter who doesn't. Well, here we go again...she wants to come home in a month for a long weekend to see me and her bf will come too but she does not expect me to see my bf at all during that weekend. Is that reasonable given it's a holiday weekend? I don't want to get into a tussle with her but how do I proceed? I realize things may not work out with my bf and I don't want to jeopardize my relationship with my daughter but I feel like no one will be good enough unless he is more like my old bf who kept his mouth shut.
If you don’t want them together, block out some time for each of them over the weekend. That’s the sane thing for you to do.
Your daughter can visit others or do something while you have a little time with him. No need for anyone to consider you “all theirs.”
No need, also, to feel you have to be the peacemaker between these two.
You have posted before about this issue with your daughter and your beaus. She challenges your judgement with other men. Professional counseling with the two of you could shed some light on what is going on between mother and daughter.