Toxic family relationship
I have a toxic relationship with a close family member. Let’s call that person Rat.
I have been verbally abused almost my entire life, a couple of times physically as well by this person to the point that I’m sick of it.
I despise Rat. I hate Rat. But due to blood ties, I’m stuck with Rat.
I need advice. I don’t know how to act around Rat, and the constant anger between me and Rat are hurting those important to me.
I’ve tried just ignoring the remarks and insults, but I’ve always been particularly receptive to Rat’s snide remarks. Having someone to talk with even anonymously would help.
I don’t expect anyone with good intentions to help, I don’t care. Just someone to vent with would be great.
Some details might help.
What does “close” family member mean? Parent? Sibling?
How old are all parties involved?
Have you shared your discomfort with others in your family about this oerson’s verbal abuse?
How ling has this bern going on?
Close referring to a biological parent, in their mid 50’s.
Their side of the family, aunts, grandparents, cousins, etc.
My other parent has also been dealing with this abuse since long before my birth, as for talking about this with them, I have. Multiple times. I’m told we have to be tolerant of them.
I’m an adult already, and from what I’ve been told, I’ve been abused by them since I was born.(I stole the attention away from them apparently. )
I’ve had severe depression in the past and when I desperately needed support, this person continued to verbally and mentally abuse me to the point that I became suicidal.
How is it that this person remains close to you?
Is there a way you can distance yourself from this person? So you don’t give them a chance to berate and/orc belittle you?
It sounds like everyone just puts up with them. They have amassed a lot of power.
You don’t have to live like this.
Unfortunately, due to certain complicated circumstances,
We’re all stuck living together. Especially with the virus right now.
Steps have been taken by me and my nice parent to separate ourselves from this negative relationship but it’s taken over a almost 20 years for any progress to have been made.
A long time ago my abusive parent was diagnosed as "mentally unstable".
We were living in a country where it was common for people to own weapons at home so the state had my parent admitted, temporarily, at a clinic, fearing that I would have been killed if my parent wasn’t treated.
Hopefully things will get better soon, but as of current due to lockdown in the country where I live I’m stuck in close quarters with them.
I hope things get better soon so I can get away for a few weeks for a break.
This is a very stressful time for all persons, emotionally stable or not.
. And if someone is very volatile and ultra sensitive, it’s even more stressful.
The ideal thing would be if this person left the home. If he/she gets out of control and threatens harm to others or themselves, bring in authorities to help. A court ordered exam would take place and family members can express their fear.
However, if this behavior is tolerated or excused by the other spouse, then you must make plans to live somewhere else asap.
Sorry you are living in this toxic environment. Safe yourself!
Thank you for your concern, it honestly means a lot to be able to talk about my situation. I just hope it doesn’t affect my future relationships.
My main concern is that I will get involved with someone in the future who will abuse me too.
As I said earlier, there are a lot of elements to this story that I haven’t mentioned due to how personal they are.
But once the whole corona crisis is over, I’m going off on a trip alone for a while.