For about 2 years now, I have been pretty obsessed with a young staff of mine.
She is the most wonderful, sweet girl you can imagine and I love everything about her. From her actions, her laughter, her silliness and even her little snaggletooth.
To make matters worse, she's a key staff and she's only 23yrs old.
I have seen her blossom from a teanager to a young woman and that's how I got to notice her.
She's much like my wife, even having birthdays just 2 days apart. And they're very close.
Everytime I see her, I feel better. I love love love looking at her face.
I love everything about her, even when she pisses me off with serious mistakes at work.
My wife and I have just patched up on a trial basis but I told her things cannot go back to the way they were.
We're in a strange place.
My staff also clearly doesn't have any feelings for me but it's driving me a little crazy seeing her on a regular basis.
I have come close many times to telling her how I feel. But I can't afford to creep her out or to make things awkward between us. But I do so adore her.
I think I have to keep this to myself and try to deal with it n get away from it all. If I don't see her on a regular basis, maybe I will forget her n move on.
I don't want them to lose a a friend, for her to be labelled a 3rd party (in the off chance she has feelings for me) or for her to sacrifice her youth for an old guy.
Even if we get together somehow, I will probably pass on when she's only in her 40s and she'll be left alone or to look for a partner at that old age. Not likely.
My only problem is how I feel. No one else feels this way and I shouldn't hurt them for selfish reasons.
I need someone to tell me that I'm doing the right thing and that I should leave them to avoid any problems.
I hope I am not being a dirty old man but I do do have feelings for her.
Sort your life out and if that means starting afresh elsewhere, then so be it. No, you're not a dirty old man, rather you're lost and lonely at the moment and looking for that glimpse of light at the end of the tunnel, but keep in mind that 'there's no fool like an old fool'.