Sickening feeling in your stomach
TIREDOFLIFE - Mar 28 2020 at 10:39
A coworker was recently telling me a story of how they had been scammed financially and that at the moment they realised, they became dizzy.
This made me think of my own experience with being deceived and others that people have told me. I was thinking mainly of how people often describe similar physiological and emotional responses in the moment of finding out.
I'd like to hear other peoples experiences with being deceived in some way and how they felt or reacted. Could be a white lie, a scam. Maybe you were married to a man with a secret family or your best friend turned out to be a sociopath.
Doesn't matter how big or small. Being quite an honest person i'm just fascinated by deception and the way our mind works when we have to reassess our memories with newfound knowledge that another person hasn't been thinking the way we imagined they were. I'm interested in that period of readjusting your view of your reality and would love to hear of any stories or experiences.
Here is my story, I hope it is what you are looking for.
Background: My mother was married to an emotionally abusive man for about 7-8 years. He would manipulate her into giving up her friends, play the victim, act like the world revolved around him... I was going to college, but my mom convinced me to stay close to home. I had always been the caretaker and protector of my family... so when my sister said things got worse and even physical after I had moved out, I canceled my rent and moved home to help my family...
I convinced my mom to divorce him (she had been thinking about it for a long time) and he moved out. It was great, my mom did things that she wasn't 'allowed to do' before like reconnect with old friends, color her hair and get a tattoo... a bit midlife crisis but whatever, she was happy.
She convinced me to stay home for the the rest of college rather than going out of state. I agreed so that I could help with the bills, help with my sister and support my mom emotionally while she dealt with divorce and going back to school as an adult.
Here is the deception you wanted to know about.
I should have known things were up when my mom said things like "Ran into Ex's old friend. He has been asking about me..." "Drove by Ex's house today, wonder how his pet bird is doing..."
Or my favorite: "Ex texted me today, said I should LIE TO YOU about where I am going and meet up with him... wouldn't that be crazy... us back together?" After I said 'YES that would be crazy! DON'T lie to your daughter for a bad EX!' She said "Oh I wouldn't, just thought it was weird."
A few months later, I login to Facebook on my computer. I naturally thought it was on my account... but no. It was my mom's. Turns out a bit after her divorce they got back together... She had been 'reconnecting' with him, not old friends whenever she left the house. I told my sister but didn't tell my mom I knew. Waited for her to tell me (she didn't, had to finally confront her. Long story short she got pissed off at me... threatened to kick me out... few months later they broke it off...)
Physically I felt: Dizzy, and I shook a lot I think this is common. Pit in my heart, disbelief (denial sneaks in there even with hard evidence). I even refreshed a few times to see if it would go away. I was emotionally numb, the anger and sadness took awhile to kick in.
Readjusting: I get paranoid more often than I used to, though I wouldn't say I have trust issues. I now am more honestly with people about smaller things too... Guess I became a better person?
Personally with my mom, the one who lied to me, I am more emotionally closed off. No longer mad so like 'forgiven, not forgotten' kinda thing. I don't trust her really, but I also don't care as deeply.
That is about all I can think of as far as reaction. LMK if it is enough
I think it may depends on the Truth that is revealed.
For example, I was deceived by an employer that If I took a transfer I would get a raise. So of course I took it and low and behold when It came to signing the contract there was no raise and the atmosphere was of an ultimatum where if I did not take the transfer I would be let go. In that experience I felt fuzzy in the head and my heart dropped but my heart rate increased. I would think this is a standard response to deception.
But if the Truth that is revealed has a more positive outlook I think the feeling is more freeing. for example, I used to believe that my identity and acceptance was based on performance. That the better I was at something and the more perfect I presented myself to be the more value I had as a person. This life was very stressful and unhealthy I would never live up to the expectations of the world, I could never be perfect nor could I perform fantastically at everything. It wasn't until my early twenties that God found me and showed me that He saw me, loved me, and accepted me. Just for who I was, I didn't have to perform nor pretend. See He showed me that He sent Jesus to live the perfect life in my place so that I wouldn't have to perform anymore. and when he died on the cross He went to forgive my sins so I wouldn't have to pretend like I was prefect anymore and I could just be myself. When he raised to life he showed me I had nothing to fear, not even death. when I came to after this experience I realized it was nothing I did or deserved but God who sent his Spirit to show me the truth that I was loved, accepted, and forgiven. This is how Jesus Changed my Life and when I realized that I was deceived by the world I didn't experience a fuzzy head or an increased heart beat, I experienced a peace I can't explain, Joy in abundance and length, Love that overwhelmed me. I felt tingles up my spine and my heart felt so full. It was and is amazing.