I'm beginning to suffer because of what he's doing
My father is cheating on my mother. The night I accidentally discovered this through his texts, I had the worst panic attack of my life. I thought I was going to die. And it's only gotten worse. Whenever I'm around him, I never fail to feel sick to my stomach and irritable as all hell. Whenever he begins to yell or scream at me over little things or belittles me, not only am I filled with rage but with the overwhelming desire to expose him, there on the spot. My panic attacks have also become more frequent. My mental health is suffering if that wasn't already obvious, and I don't know what to do. I would love to tell my mother about what's going on, but I don't want to see her cry. I'm stuck in a situation that he unknowingly put me in, and I'm afraid that if I don't get out that something terrible is going to happen to me.
Do you perceive your mother as being fragile? Are you afraid she would be harmed by knowing about her husband’s infidelity ?
Consider: Your mother may know what’s going on in her own marriage.
What good would come from you getting involved in this issue with her at this time?
The dynamics between you and your father Is another thing. It sounds like there have been stress between the two of you for a long time. Not unusual for two males in the home, but stressful for everyone in the home.
Try not to let him bait you. Detach. Be responsible when asked.
You can say something to him about your feelings in finding out about his cheating, but say it out of concern rather than scolding. For example, “ mom seems sad lately. Any idea why?” Or “Is everything OK with you and mom? There seems to be stress in the house“
Do this conversation when you both are having a calm discussion.
Lastly, if there is a trusted relative that you could talk to, that might help.
Thank you so much. I'll try to take your advice.
I’m so sorry what you are going through. I hear you! That’s brave of you to share this with us. This is a pretty serious situation.
Have you consider talking to someone about this? Perhap someone who is neutral and help you get through it? Someone that you feel comfortable and express your feelings and concern.
This is may be old news but I hope and pray that things work out for you and your family.