I need advice about my relationship
I have been involved with a man for about 4 years he lives in my complex. We started off as friends for 6 months. It was up and down I seemed to be the devoted one. He told me he did not have a girlfriend since college. He also advised me he is not relationship material. So a lot happened throughout we had fights and things happened. He did not let me meet his family, that used to cause fights. I am not from here I am from 500 miles east, with no family here. I also could not make female friends here its the only place this has ever happened to me. I got sick with cancer and recovered then he got sick with arthritis. He used to drink often and too much and come home and we would get together. I changed this aspect of his life I feel I saved him. There were always some upsetting thing he would do: never let me stay in his place, always give me my things back although I live down the hall, rarely come to my place, never accept my cooking, never let me cook there, control: what we watched on tv, what music concerts we saw, where we ate, where we shopped, what we ate at his place. If you gave him a gift, he would not thank you. He never bought me xmas gifts, birthday gifts. We could not have sex for over a year this worsened things. Last summer we went to a bar with a guy he tried to pickup a girl there in front of me and I had his car. It was so hurtful. He also would talk about me to family members I never met for 4 years. This really is a form of abuse. I would listen to his upsets for hours but when I had upsets I would get maybe 30 mins then he didn't want to hear more. He also did not like I do not speak French well I am not French. So lately he turned cruel he takes me grocery shopping and ridiculed me in public in front of the cashiers and others. He did this about 4 to 5 times I told him to stop. He would take our cart and not look for me and ringing in his stuff and I look I am not finished shopping, he has already paid and complains about me! I also broke my arm 4 months ago and cannot use my left hand at all! Lately he told me this city is liberal and I should not live here if I am not liberal. He has tried to call me prejudice I helped minorities all my life he has no minority friends he sticks with French people. Where we live is community housing not a lot of nice people here and many types of cultures who are rotten especially the women. I never had a problem anywhere else I ever lived I lived in 7 parts of Canada. So he did demeaning things and told him off in person and text he did not even apologize. I am so very angry and hurt fine we are not meant to be because he is too damn selfish I told him this too. He never cares about my life, what makes me happy, my family, my hobbies its all HIM! But he says I am the problem! So I just needed some advise how to deal with all this and now I cannot move due to this quarantine I had planned to move in June. Hes been destroying my self worth, he also said I am fat now lets weight you! He is too thin. So he brokeup and now makes me to be crazy, even his brothers attacked him and kicked him out of their home 2 months ago. He says hell just get a one night stand! He came from childhood neglect.
Wow - when you enter the lion’s den, you are going to get scratched!
This guy is damaged goods, incapable of concern or empathy.
But you already know that, so why torture yourself? Why have you tried so hard to make something happen with this lost cause of a man?
Please get some counseling. For yourself.
Sorry to be so harsh but any healthy woman would not put up with this man’s behavior. The real problem is your willingness to accept this behavior.
I am so sorry for what you have endured with this person. I encourage you to rethink this relationship. Do you want to continue to be treated this way? Rather, you deserve to have someone who will value you, and treat you the way you deserve to be treated; not the way this person is treating you. But you have to make your own choice.