My husband and I are 5 years old together (in official marriage half a year). However, recently I’ve been thinking more and more often about a divorce from my husband, but I can’t decide at all .. Many will probably be surprised: why did you marry him then, now you want to divorce .. In a word, I can say that I loved very much, and so much more years together, a lot of ties ... In general, to make it clearer, I’ll tell about our relations with my husband from the very beginning: The first two years we met, sometimes I spent the night at my husband’s house, but didn’t live together. At that time, we had no problems in relations, sometimes quarreling over trifles, but also quickly reconciled))) Then we decided to live together, rented an apartment and then it all started .. We began to quarrel more and more often, mainly on what for household reasons .. I then loved my husband madly, always the first to try on, forgave him all, indulged in almost everything .. But the quarrels did not get any smaller, on the contrary, we quarreled even more and for any reason .. The situation began to worsen even and the fact that my husband often liked to get together with friends, drink, and I always stay I was at home alone and waiting for him .. It began to happen all the time, and naturally it didn’t suit me, so we quarreled almost every day .. But at the same time, my husband also loved me very much and loves .. When everything was fine, I felt happy , made plans for the future .. hoped that everything would work out .. So we lived another year, my husband made me an offer, I agreed .., began to plan a wedding .. And then I accidentally saw a correspondence with my girlfriend in social networks with a girl in very frank form, and then it turned out that she was not alone, that he talked with 10 0 girls, I even went to a cafe with some .. Saying that I was in shock was a soft word, it was a blow to me, I never imagined such a betrayal from him, I really trusted .. In general, there were a lot of tantrums, sorting out relationships, all this really gave me my mental state .. My husband asked me for forgiveness, said that it wasn’t serious, that it didn’t go beyond flirting, he realized that he had made a mistake and would not repeat this again .. I could not come to my senses for a very long time, constantly roaring, wanted to leave him, but in the end I stayed, I lacked determination and feelings for my husband outweighed .. but I couldn’t forgive .. We postponed the wedding then .. Over time, the pain from her husband’s betrayal subsided .. Another 1.5 years passed, the husband did everything to make amends, stopped visit social networks, etc. However, we still had problems in relations, we continued to quarrel over any reason, but mainly because of my husband’s periodic drunkenness .. I became more nervous, frustrated faster, stopped trying on the first one .. But despite all this, we are all the same played a wedding and the first 2 months it was all relatively good, but then we started quarreling again .. At the moment the situation is even worse than before the wedding .. I’m so tired of endless quarrels that I don’t see any reason to continue our relationship .. I moved away from her husband, look at him with different eyes, me st there’s much to annoy him .. I’m really confused .. I don’t know what to do next .. I understand that divorce is inevitable for us, and it’s better if it happens as soon as possible .. After all, the years are gone (I’m 24 years old) and I I’m afraid that then I will have even less chances to meet a loved one .. I’ll also say that we tried to solve our problems, tried to be more restrained to each other, but didn’t last us long .. It’s evident that we are different with my husband, I’m now already I understand that I want to see another person next to me who will understand me and respect me, compromise. .
Sorry, if not everything is clear, I told you how I could .. In general, I ask for advice and help, how I сan decide to divorce, I’m very scared .. I don't have much money and we live in California...Maybe someone had a similar situation .. and you can share the experience .. I will be glad to any comments ..
I still don't get why didn't you leave him after betrayal. Gal,it's obviously that he doesn't love you! Get yourself together and leave him ASAP!
Ashley, thank you! That was really fast and I will try!
You gave him permission to treat you like that! Why did you tolerate his behavior?
Age 24 is young. Now you are wiser and will find a nan to treat you with respect. Do not get involved with another drinking man!
Well, I first wan't to thank you for sharing your story on this platform. It does not sound easy to be in the position you are in. However, I want to first say that sometimes we don't see certain characteristics and behaviors until you see them in different environment settings ie: Living with that person. I also think age is a part of it but I believe that communication is another. It is important to be able to express how you feel and the issues you feel and not bottle them up just to move the issue on since that just bottles things up.
I think that sometimes things that you would never think you would have to think about happen and all we can do is do what we have to do to better ourselves on a mentally and physically level. You are still young and have your whole life ahead of you. Sometimes you can't always be the super women trying to solve the issues.
I also would like to advise you to seek a pro bono attorney that may be able to help you. It is going to cost you one way or the other but I believe a pro bono attorney should be able to help you. also finding a good referral to a local divorce attorney as well.
The goal I think for you to keep focused on is that it is about taking one step at a time and not trying to climb the whole mountain in one step since sadly that is not going to happen. Just take everyday and issue as they come in.
I hope that helped you & Good Luck!