Married at 19 with 3 kids
I have always been alone but then I met my husband who became a farther figure for my child. I love my family I am grateful for what I have. This doesn’t make it any less hard to accomplish what I am trying to. I have made sacrifices for them and continue to do so without question. The problem comes in when I want (not expect) someone to do so for me. I have everyone’s back, I make the money and pay the bills.
When it’s time for me to air my complaints or just be heard in general it’s dismissed as nagging. I don’t have a friend other than my husband I don’t have an ear other than him. I just want him to listen but I don’t know how without feeling like I am pressuring him to do something he doesn’t want to. Without getting a lackadaisical response or an otherwise uninterested one. Or how to contain my frustration and anger when I do.
Wow - the cages we women build for ourselves!!
Your husband is not a therapist or BFF, so it sounds like you need some girlfriend time or a good therapist.
Un- learning the need to “ have everybody’s back” is going to take time. This wasn't created in a day, it won’t be solved in a short time.
Firstly, thank you so much for replying I was afraid I sounded too cliche for someone to. I am not very good at making friends never have been. As I get older and more problems keep piling up I’m realizing that maybe I should start. So to say the least I agree with you and will start trying to make some headway in this mystery called “friendship”. Haha or seek more professional advice.
I'm sorry that you're going through this. Many women go through this very thing in their relationships or marriage, and I have also gone through it. May I ask, how long have you been married? Do you think that going through a marriage seminar would help? Sometimes you can purchase DVD's and watch them from home, rather than travel to them. It really helped in my own marriage, it taught us 'listening' skills, and to be able to see the other persons side in a healthy way. That is, if your husband would be willing. I can't give you direct links due to site policy, but I'll type them out and you can put them together.
The first is an article by Focus on the Family
https:// http://www. focus on the family . com/marriage /6-tools-for-healthy-communication-in-marriage/
http:// couplecommincation . com/
I hope these help in some way.