Why am I so pathetic for my age?
Hey, well where do I begin? I'm nearly 40 year's old (female) and basically I have no backbone, I'm weak a people pleaser wanting to get along with people always wanting to help people torturing myself if I think someone doesn't like me
I have always been shy and not much confidence ,as a kid at school I used to let the other kids steal off me and I'd never say anything, 2 girls used to come over to me in the school yard where usually I was sat on my own and they would kick my legs and laugh I used to sit there and try not to cry one of the girls was 2 years younger than me but I never stuck up for myself
Trouble is my lack of strength and confidence has certainly followed me into adulthood, I am exactly the same at work, I allow others to talk to me like dirt without ever sticking up for myself, I work in a big supermarket serving lots of customers each day,one customer really ripped into me the other week because they weren't happy with a product, I tried my hardest to solve the issue but she flew at me, she comes in store most days and now I feel so intimidated by her when I see her I go bright red and my heart beats really fast,I feel such a fool but I don't know what to do, she doesn't say anything it's just her presence and the looks I get make me nervous
I wish I could be stronger but I just don't think I have got it in me
Please can anyone help me any advice in dealing better with situations rather than just standing there and not sticking up for myself
Thank you for any advice I would really appreciate it.
You need to learn how to be assertive. Once you start, you'll wonder what the fuss was about in the first place. You'll learn to agree to disagree and you get your point across, and stand your ground without being aggressive but it takes a bit of practice. Once you are assertive, even just a bit, doors will open for you with work, personal relationships and interaction with heaps of other people...and you'll never look back.
If you keep going the way you are, you will always be trod on and the fact that you can post on here, tells us where your confidence levels are, which is acknowledging that you have an issue, and by doing this, you're being successful towards solving it. There is counselling which can help you get over this and all you need to do is take that first step.
Thank you to you both for replying I really appreciate the advice, I'd never of thought about taking up something like karate but it might be a good idea to try and do it get me a bit more confidence which I feel I need
Thanks again stay safe in these hard times :-)