Feel anxiety cos of him
I have had anxiety due to my husband looking at porn. I found over a year ago he had a video of two women on his laptop which sickened me. I thought he had stopped looking at porn but he hadn't. He knows I don't like it and I feel insecure about myself. He said he had watched it when I was out so everytime I go out I feel he is looking at it and it knocks my confidence. I try to think he isn't looking at it but he will only be hiding it from me anyway. I told him to stop but he never did. Also he recently said he slepted in his car because we had been arguing. I have stayed in my car for a few hours and I get fed up with just sitting there looking at my phone but according to him he can do it because he us used to it with bring a sales man. Is he lying, I think he is and was with someone spending the night with them. He said he turns on the ignition to warm the car up. He done this years ago and said he slepted in the car. I kepted calling him all night until 6am and he said he was ignoring my calls but I think he was cheating on me and stayed at another womans house. To stay in your car all night seems a big lie to me. He also said he would not feel insecure if I was a bar maid because he loves me. I told him I would feel insecure if he was a bar tender because of the women flirting. Doesn't he love me enough to not worry that a handsome man like whisked me away or is it because he doesn't care and love me enough.
These “un- winable” arguments and “what-if” discussions that have no conclusion. They would drive anyone crazy.
Watch what he does, not what he says.
He owes you honesty and you owe him an opportunity to tell the truth. Something is wrong, for sure. This could happen in couple’s therapy.
You guys need to look at where the arguments start rather than run around and put out the fires that they cause. Agreed, it's your husband's actions rather than his words that you need to focus on. He is the only one who can give you answers to your questions and the sooner you sit him down and have a serious conversation with him, the sooner you will know where your marriage is at.
I think that the best thing you both need to do and work on is first and foremost is working on building and strngthing the trust yo have for each other. The other one is the respect for one another. What are the reasons why he feels the need to go on porn than have a sexual intimacy with you. I know this must be hard for you but these are things that I think you need to have a sit down conversation with and express the seriousness and concern you have with this. I hope this helps you and I wish you the best :)