Questioned me first to get his story straight?
So basically a year ago I found out my husband of 20 years went to a strip club with office friends & had a lap dance paid for by one friend all the blokes together at same time
It happened 6 years ago.
I didn't want to discuss it with him & ignored him for weeks I didn't know what to think.
Anyway when he asked if we could talk about it he said to me "What do you think happened"
Naturally I just explained what I thought he had done.
He then told me his version of events ( I have questioned him few times & story never changes)
I just wonder if he asked me first what I thought happened so he had time to make the " story " sound better or less upsetting for me?
I don't understand why he didn't just explain straight away ??
I hope I can try to help you.
First a relationship is based around trust, both from your side and his side too.
It is usual for boys at least here to go to strip clubs as a joke, and usually for the bachelor parties. For womens as well.
By the story it looks like its something he didn't want too, but it's something he should have told you.
He may not tell you because he thinks you might just get mad and not listen. Try to listen and understand what he wants to say. Talk to each other in a calmly manner.
You have 20 years with this man. This incident happened 6 years ago.
There must be something else going on that makes you cling to an old incident and is upsetting you so.
Counseling will help you sort all this out.