RMLSSK10 - May 16 2020 at 16:32
So, recently my ldr boyfriend has started talking to a girl again who he used to talk to but it’s making me really jealous and feel like I’m being replaced.
They’ve talked about hanging out and stuff they’re going to do together once quarantine has ended but some things to me seem more like flirting than just being friends but he doesn’t agree.
Some things for example are her asking him for advice and help with things, opening up with personal things, cancelling plans with me to call with her for hours (7 hours the other night!!!)
It’s causing a lot of arguments due to us both feeling complete opposite ways; I feel like he prefers her and is replacing me but he says that they‘re just best friends and I have no reason to worry.
Do you have any advice on how to deal with this or am I right to feel like this?
It’s ok for a gf or bf to have have friends of the opposite sex and to help them out and give them advice when needed but not when it starts to interfere with your relationship and the way it’s making you feel.
At the moment he seems to be enjoying the best of both worlds, he’s in a LDR with you and he’s got this other girl who he calls his ‘best friend‘...he’s making it pretty obvious as to what he’s doing. It’s very easy for him to tell you not to worry but he’s telling you a lot!
Look at his actions, talking on the phone to her for seven hours and he’s/they’re planning to meet up with her once Covid is over? Why is he not doing that with you?
His priorities should lye with you first and foremost if he’s serious.
I am sorry that you are going through this with your bf. This behavior is not right of him, and you need to have a heart to heart and tell him how this is making you feel. Although it IS ok to have friends of the opposite sex, this sounds like it's more than just a friendship, esp if he is spending (7hrs) talking to her. If he gets angry, abusive or insensitive to your feelings about this, I would rethink the relationship because this is a red flag of how he will be treating you on future issues. He needs to be reassuring to you that nothing is going on, and he could include you to help the other girl with her problems making it a team effort. When significant others have opposite sex friendships, there will always be temptation, and the feelings of the other partner should trump any other friendship. I hope this helps!
Maybe you should look over you recent attitude as well. If you were not supportive and caring enough for the recent days he would look for the support somewhere else. I think having a friend from the opposite sex is not the matter here since it's still something not OK if he would be spending more time with his male friends than you. We have gone through a similar experience with my ldr girlfriend 5 years ago: she was paying more attention to her group of friends than me and after I looked over my attitude I realized that I was not attentive enough for a couple of weeks. But still we got it over and next year I'm buying a [property in Germany]( https://tranio.com/germany/)
to be with her and we are planning our wedding now. I'd suggest you not to think about negative stuff too much; it's not either the end of the world or your relationship.