Sexting another man
I've been divorced for about 5 years. Met a woman and we've been dating for a little over a year. We are in love and talking about marriage. But...I was made aware of something that has bothered me and I am conflicted as to how I should handle this. A week ago I was updating her phone and there was a text thread between her and another guy that took place at about 2 in the morning. We do not live together (she has young kids) and I was at my home. She called me a jerk to him. There were no pictures exchanged but it was a long back and forth about sexual acts with each other - very descriptive and lurid- like I was reading a text from a porn (I don't think I can even say what it was on this forum.) I was mortified. Needless to say I lost my sh&* and confronted her.
We had gotten into a little argument the night that she texted him and that was the start of the discussion. She told me that she had some wine and taken Tylenol PM and didn't even remember doing it. I don't believe that she doesn't remember the texting because it was very detailed and lucid. This guy lives in another state. They were friends when he lived here as far as I know and they never had a relationship. I ended the relationship right then. However, she texted him later and apologized to him that she made a mistake, etc. She sent me screenshots as proof I guess. She continued to reach out to me, apologizing profusely and asking for me to forgive her and get back together. After I cooled off, we talked and we got back together (love is forgiving I guess)
My problem is that I cannot get passed it. I don't trust her. I believe that she lied to me because I called her out on it. When I'm with her I just keep thinking about it. Why would she do this? Why him? That sort of thing - and of course the actual content of the texts. I'm just not sure if I can get passed it. Was I fool to even get back with her? Should I just walk away? Totally confused.
Time will tell.
The remark about you being a jerk is troubling. She needs to explain her feelings about that.
In the meantime, hold off on any marriage plans. Don’t even discuss it.
This relationship is not on authentic stable grounds.
(Are you contributing to her financially in any way?)
(Are you contributing to her financially in any way?)Yes, I am
I'm not sure what to say, but I am pretty sure of one thing in this story.
The only reason why she is saying sorry and apologizing is because she got caught! She wasn't expecting it to happen, so she lured the other guy and you too. Probably hoping that she could get both of you into her.
Really... Sexting this other guy... Like 2 in the morning and you forgive her?
The problem is... You will never forgive her. Like right now the point of you even creating this post is because you don't trust her and you didn't really forgive her. A relationship is based around trust. No trust... No relationship. Simple as that.
Does this other guy even know that she is with you? Because I would try to contact this guy and see if she lied to him too.
I would step away, like right now. Just run from it. This is Not a Stable Relationship.
[Does this other guy even know that she is with you? ]
He knew she had a boyfrined
BTW...he has a girlfriend too
So both of them where just cheating... I bet his girlfriend has no idea what he's doing...
Don't let them fool you and play with you. If you want a stable relation and not a sharing wife drama, just remove yourself out of the equation.
Trust is the base of every successful relationship and if you don't have it or can't have it, then you're wasting your time. If you choose a partner who shares your values and standards, then you're half way there. Texting is written word in black and white and can't be taken back, particularly name calling. Sure, you can be in love with this woman but ALL of her actions show you that she's not 'there' with you.