Ending soulmate relationship cause its toxic for both of us
I have to end a very toxic relationship with my soulmate and I just cant do it and stick to it,
or get him to understand exactly why this is all happening.
I don't want our life to be without each other forever
just until he can see what is happening and why things have to stop and change.
I made him move out last feb. He went thousands of miles away from me which maked no difference.
We started having problems and he just kept drinking more and more
instead of handling things he would just stay drunk.
Than he got mean, very mean to me. He didn't have a harsh word to say to me until that point of our life.
11 years never fought over anything ever, than everything changed and alcohol became a huge factor.
I don't want to loose him forever but he just wont listen to any compromises and he wont stop drinking.
He is making me little by little loose all of the admiration, respect, pride, love, devotion
every good thing i have ever thought of him. he is destroying us forever.
How do i stop this?
If alcohol gets a good hold of him, then there'll be nothing you can do. It's the true side of him that you're seeing when he's drunk and it's entirely up to him to realize that no matter how much he drinks, the issue is still going to be there the next day until he decides to do something about it.
Alcoholism is a disease and an addiction and you can't trust them to negotiate or bargain with them. He'll end up on the hard recovery road if he does hit rock bottom, but it's your decision if you need to hang around to watch it and put up with more misery and abuse.
You need to contact your local Al non or similar organisation in your country to get a better understanding of it all.
Do you think he is an alcoholic? If so he's the only one who can stop this destructive behaviour, all you can do is let him know you will be there to help if he ever makes that decision.
If you don't think he is an alcoholic, what are the underlying reasons making him drink, work on those.
You have to remember that alcoholism is a disease, meaning that while it is his fault it is not his fault. To get over this he needs help, and you need you give him grace if you want that it work. You need to be firm and direct with him. Tell him you want your life with him but he has to leave the alcohol behind. He needs to get help and tell him you will be there every step of that way but he needs to make a serious change. Remember, the person you see now is the person you fell in love with so you need to forgive him daily and let him get back to be that person. If he is your soulmate, it will be worth it. Also, seek comfort from the confidence of knowing no matter what, you will be okay.