My mum doesn't like my boyfriend, what should i do?
MOLLY XX - May 29 2020 at 00:05
my boyfriend and i have been dating for about 9 months, we're 15. we've never argued much and have a healthy relationship, my mum is really posh & hasn't been open to convos about sex & stuff, she always turns her nose up about it, my whole family do. my boyfriends family are very different and his parents are a lot younger and so it's easier for him and they're more lenient.
within the first month of us dating he came round for dinner, all was well and good & my mum liked him. this is my first proper boyfriend that she has met. he came round a few times after that and obviously being young and excited teenagers we decided to explore, if you will. not sex, but he gave me a hickey on my upper bust. a couple of days later my mum accidentally walked in the bathroom while i was bathing, and saw it. she went absolutely mental, said how "you could be pregnant for all i know" and wouldn't speak to me, i immediately told my boyfriend as i was going on holiday the next day with my auntie and so he messages my mum and politely apologised for what had happened as we realised it was an awful mistake. she said that i wasn't allowed to see him anymore & she would deal with it when i got home the week after. things cooled off when i got back and she didn't make us break up, but ever since she hasn't really liked him, she's always polite when he's around and i've asked her a couple of times if she likes him and she said she does... but if ever i mention him she'll always find something to have a dig about with him, even though he's really kind to her & thoughtful towards me.
today was really the breaking point for me, as today i was home alone and someone was in the house which was obviously really worrying. i called both my mum & dad but no answer, so i called my boyfriend. his dad and him immediately jumped in the car to my house to see if everything was okay, thankfully it was but i couldn't have been more grateful. later this evening about 11pm, my boyfriend accidentally called my mum & my mum sent me a text saying "i have a missed call from Charlie do you know why he's calling me so late", i told her it was an accident and she said "🙄ok", i really don't know what to do anymore as i just thought that was so out of order considering the events of earlier today.
Moms are protective. They want the best for their daughters. Idk what kind of relationship you have with your mom (is it close?) but she's probably in protective mode. You're 15 and she doesn't want you to get pregnant. No matter how many times you explain to her that you haven't had sex, lets face it, the longer you are with your BF, the more intimate you could become. Know this: It probably won't matter who it is, your Mom will probably not like them until you're older and engaged to the guy (and sometimes not even then). This is a "common" issue you will most likely deal with no matter who you're dating. She doesn't want him to take advantage of her little girl (and no matter how old you are you will always be her little girl) and get her pregnant then leave her. It's something she and you will both have to deal with in your own ways. I'm sorry you don't feel like you can have an open convo with her regarding your relationship with your BF, but some people are just like that - they are in denial and closed minded sometimes. You can try sitting her down and talking with her about how she's making you feel - that's a very grown up thing to do - shows maturity - and talk to her about your relationship but don't be surprised if she gets offensive. She may also feel like she's losing you. But that's not your problem - it's hers. Eventually all daughters grow up and find their own life. She may be disappointed in you but again, you're 15 and experimenting and that's life. Reassure her that if you do decide to have sex that it will be protected sex and you will do everything you can to not get pregnant - then do that. Do not get pregnant. You have your whole life ahead of you, you don't need to be tied down with a child. Be smart and mature and logical. I hope what I've said helps you in some way. I know you're hurting bc you feel torn between your BF and her and she makes you feel uncomfortable. She needs to realize that you're getting older and going to have relationships and sex may be a part of it. Just be smart about it. Good luck.