Monkey in law?
Ok, so I won't make this too long. I meet this wonderful guy and we're doing great. I meet his sister and she was nice to me at first, I thought we clicked and she approved of me. I followed her on instagram and I was a little unsettled to find pics of my guy's ex on her page still (it had been 2 years since they had broken up when we started dating) I ask my boyfriend if he could ask her to take those down. The ex and her are still friends and comment on each other's pictures. He said she's kind of bipolar, but if you want to me I will. So he asks her and then she blocks me. I was so shocked she would do that. I thought it was a reasonable request? She seemed like she accepted me as the new girlfriend. When I ask her on Facebook if she meant to do that she ignores me. I tell my bf and he's in denial and doesn't want to deal with her. She never apologized or talked to me. A year and a half later and she still hasn't talked to me. When she came over to see him she barely said hi to me. She went into the corner of the kitchen and went through old pictures and didn't even acknowledge I was a part of the family conversation. What should I do? She still keeps in touch with the ex and she won't even acknowledge my existence. Some backstory, when I found pics of my bf's ex on his fb she had a kid by a different guy, I thought that kid was his but he reassured me that's not his kid even though they look like they could be related. So this whole thing has been heightened. Any advice from people who have been in a similar situation? I just want her to treat me like a human being and at least talk to me. She's treating me like a second class citizen and my bf is letting her.
No, it's not a reasonable request. It's basically none of your business if she has her brother's ex's pics on her page for whatever the reasons and really you have no right to ask in the first place. You post about the ex and her still being friends, then why shouldn't they share pics and comment on them? She's allowed to have who she wants as a friend regardless if one of those friends is your BF's ex. Just because she seemingly accepted you as the new GF, doesn't mean she has to wipe others just for your sake.
If the pics unsettled you, you should have asked her directly and you should have explained to her why, instead of asking your BF to do it. Your BF shouldn't have to deal with fallout and his sister has basically nothing to apologize for. If you want to be treated like a human being, then you should first treat others with respect whether they're kind of bipolar or not...it's that simple.
I know how that makes you feel. But you need to trust your BF that he's with you and won't go back to the old GF. That said, its not your place to ask the photos to be taken down. She's friends with the exGF and you'll have to accept that. In order to repair your relationship with his sister you should apologize for the request. It will be up to her to accept your apology and if she doesn't you'll have to deal with it. Leave your BF out of it. That puts him in a very bad position of choosing you or his family, and family usually wins. If you wan to keep things proper between your BF and his sister, apologize and deal with the consequences if she doesn't accept it.
Hi Snickythecat. I think what has already been shared is pretty good advise. If I was to offer anything, it would be along those lines. On the upside, when people apologize for their relational mistakes, reconciliation is almost inevitable. If she accepted you initially, she will do it again. Good luck.