Is it wrong for me to put myself first in this case with my boyfriend?
I’ve been seeing the same man for nine months and things are progressing rather seriously. However we live two hours apart so we only see each other weekends and for the most part he drives to me. He needs out patient surgery and I offered to assist him with the first several days many months ago before Coronavirus came about. Now he is pursuing surgery but I am reluctant to assist him at this time especially because my daughter is currently visiting me from out of state and she is so concerned about either one of us seeing people which is not critical. For example she’s not even going to see her friends at all while she’s visiting me for a few weeks because she doesn’t want to take any risk.
Because of this she has talked me out of helping my boyfriend for a few days after his outpatient surgery and so did my sisters and I know they’re not totally wrong. Further I ended up in the emergency room last Saturday and just have not been feeling myself and there may be something going on cardiac wise so I’m going to go see my doctor tomorrow. When I told my boyfriend several days ago you better have a Plan B he told me his friend would help him. I was much relieved. As much as I want to help him and I always follow through my promises I knew this wasn’t the best time for me to do this. But last night he suggested that he would be seeing me this weekend and when I pushbacked and I said i can’t he seemed really upset and said well unless you’re in the hospital for some reason or you are not allowed to drive then I thought you were going to help me out with the first few days to get me back on my feet. Hes good to me and my children and I know he has a few people he can count on as well as a daughter who lives three hours away.
Obviously I can’t be in 2 places at the same time especially when we are two hours apart. I feel really bad but I just feel like maybe I need to put myself first this time and hope it doesn’t destroy an otherwise good relationship.
At the end of the day, ask yourself if your BF would expect you to be there for him when you posted that you're not feeling well yourself for whatever the reason. Sure, he's good to you and your family but there's only so much you can do and with the Covid 19 still hanging around, you need to be responsible for all concerned, just as your daughter is doing. If your BF can't understand that we all are making alternative plans because of the circumstances which are effecting all of us, then there's something seriously wrong going on with him.
Why would your actions destroy a good relationship when they're responsible actions based on commonsense decisions?
Similar case. Partner understood I wasn't able to travel a d help but his friends are leaving after 1 week and he needs help he says so he wants me to get to him. He sounds mad and aggravated since I’m hesitant just not feeling up to it.