I have some "unnatural" desires towards my own mother
About my "Unnatural desires", since i was a kid, i've always fantasized about...making love to my mom. There, i said it. It's really weird for me to talk about, i've never told a soul. Since i was a kid, i've loved being hugged by my mom, she's always just felt so warm. She's the most important person in my life, my rock. I accidentally saw my first pornographic film by 6 and didn't really know what was happening, but i couldn't stop thinking about that movie. I even imagined trying some of those things in it with her. I always tried "stealing" her from her boyfriend's or buying her Valentine's Gifts.
My teenage years were no help, i often pleasured myself to thoughts of her.
I've always felt this way and i don't know what to do with myself for it. I fantasize about her all the time. She's all i have. I don't even know what i want though. LIke, i know i Want her, the real thing, but that's not feasible. Or is it? How i could get over this either. Please help me, i don't know what to do. I'm 22 now, so i guess "Grow out of it" isn't feasible.
Every child’s first love is their mom or dad. These strong attachments are perfectly normal. The child then pushes away that parent and ventures out to find relationships with other males and females.
Perhaps this separation from your mother was not allowed to happen or got interrupted or even your mother held you too close to her or over- protected you, and prevented this necessary from happening.
Go to a counselor to talk about how you can find some kind of resolve to this issue that bothers you so.