My boyfriend lied to me
My boyfriend and I have been together for just over 2 and a half years. We both go to the same university in London and everything has been fine until recently. Because of Corona Virus, our university closed and all teaching was moved online. My boyfriend is from Singapore and in March he went back to Singapore while I also moved back home (outside of London). He returned to London in May where he lives in a studio flat in a building with security and a reception. We had agreed that once he arrived back in London, he would self isolate for 14 days before I came to stay with him. We were both really excited to see each other.
A few days before I was going to see him he rang me in a panic and was really upset. He said that he had just come back from a run and as he entered the building security asked him to show his key to prove that he lived there. He said that he was therefore worried about me coming and if we would get into trouble as it seemed like security was checking who was coming inside. He was really upset about it and we decided that it would be better if I didn't come. I asked him to also ring reception to ask if i would be allowed to come and stay just so we were aware of what the rules are. He said he rang reception and they said that I would not be allowed to come. So that was that.
I had a bad feeling about the whole situation, not understanding why all of a sudden security would be so tight given that lockdown measures were easing. I even had an argument with my boyfriend asking him if he was lying to me which he repeatedly denied. He even told me that he was hurt that I would accuse him of lying and he was upset that I wasn't trusting him. I apologised and gave him the benefit of the doubt.
I wanted to find out things for myself so I rang his reception and explained that my partner lives in the building and what are the rules regarding me coming to stay. Reception explained to me that I was allowed and more than welcome to come and stay with my partner. Confused, i rang my boyfriend to say that reception had said i was allowed to stay. He then came clean and said he had made the whole thing up. He said that security never asked him if he lived there or to show them his key and that he never rang reception. He said he lied because he was scared of the law but felt like he couldn't tell me that was the reason because he was worried I would get upset and angry.
I was really upset that he had come up with this lie that was clearly pre meditated. What hurt the most was that he made me feel bad for thinking he was lying by saying I was hurting his feelings when in actuality he was lying. I told him i needed space to think about things and whether I wanted to be with him. The fact that he made this whole story up really hurt my feelings and the fact that he told me I hurt him by accusing him of lying when he actually was, is just crazy to me. I have so much anger and hurt towards him in my heart i don't know what to do but I also don't feel as if i can let him go. I feel conflicted.
He owes you an explanation as to why he used such a convoluted reason to not see you. Perhaps he was not courageous enough to actually break up with you or is under extreme anxiety about the virus. But lying is a no- no to someone you care about.
You had your suspicions and it revealed something about him. See this clearly as it shows his character.
Once a man lies he will keep doing it, I personally hate liars theres no excuse to lie to someone my only exception is white lies or lies that are not going to really matter much.
For me honestly is very important in a relationship if I found out you lied about something then I will not be able to trust that person.
I recently ended a relationship because he lied to me and I found out my intuition is very strong if i sense your doing wrong by me then chances are he is and I was right .
The worst part is they call you crazy and to chill i ain't crazy .
Ask yourself can you be with a liar like that , whatelse has he lied about?
I personally would walk away you deserve respect and honesty anything less is a waste of time.